18 Meseca ...
On Feb 11, 2013, Ja nikada nije čuo Cauda konjski sindrom (CES). That changed the next day. This very day, 18 pre nekoliko meseci, I awoke with no feeling below my waist. Something very wrong was going on with my body! I didn’t know it then, ali sam počeo putovanje zove Cauda equina sindrom.
On this blog I’ve chronicled the first year of that journey. I have been very blessed in my recovery, posebno imajući u vidu da je to bilo 14 days to have my decompression surgery and not having ANY feeling below my waist. I won’t cover the details of what has been written before, but this update gives a quick look at my progress since the one year mark.
Mnogi neurohirurga i drugi lekari kažu da regeneraciju živaca javlja samo za 12 mjeseci, dok drugi kažu 12 - 18 months is the time in which what healing will happen does happen. My physical therapist told me 18 - 24 mjeseci. I don’t know if this is “frontline” info or whether she was just trying to motivate me further than I already was.
Za mene, mjeseci od moje 1 jubilarnoj godini su izazov uz neke manje regresije - ali, I am still seeing spurts of significant regeneration taking place. I went through a period of frequent nerve pain in the top of my right foot. This seemed to be aggravated by my evening commute, što je obično oko 1 sat 10 zapisnik. The last 10 - 15 minuta pogonskog bih dobiti "elektro-šok" osjećaj tako poznato iz drugih dijelova tijela ranije u mom oporavku.
These were so painful I almost became a dangerous driver. I fell back on my flight training skills – ABC – Aviate (Fly avion, u ovom slučaju, voziti auto - pobrinite se da ne naletite na nekoga ili nešto), Kretanje (Nemojte se izgubljeno i za auto, to znači biti sigurni da ne propustite zaokret dok rastrojeno), Komunicirajte (U zraku, ćemo dobiti pomoć od kontrolera na terenu, u automobilu, this just means Comfort – try to find a position where the pain subsides. Those pains left me about a month ago. As they left, they presented me with a going away present of more feeling in my feet. I now only have impaired feeling in a ½ - ¾ inča bend oko nogu, počinju oko ½ inča iznad tabane (prstima izuzeti jer su imali osjećaj za neko vrijeme.)
My legs have feeling back except for the backs of the legs and inner portion of the buttocks, but only the lower ½ of that and the corresponding front area. That too is a recent improvement. I am now able to walk without assistive device for over 100 stopala, but my legs and hips are completely exhausted by the effort and are in moderate pain by the end. But I am improving, polako ali sigurno, I dalje jačanje i poboljšanje.
I still cannot stand for more than 20 - 30 sekundi, nor sit for more than an hour without problems. This limits my ability to travel and is sorely missed (Nema Pun namijenjena.) I keep pushing to improve. If I don’t, I won’t know how much I can improve. So I work full time, s 2 hours round trip commute time. And I walk whenever I can, to the point of not being able to any more. By the time I get home I am exhausted. I still have not had to have surgery on the torn tendon in my right foot.
Despite that, God has allowed me to lead small groups and classes at church. I am truly blessed. None of us who are afflicted with CES want to stay as we are. We learn to deal with the injury and we fight to overcome as much of its affects as possible. It is easy to look around, seeing people who do not appreciate the simple act of being able to walk. Or run. Or stand for a few minutes. Or travel 6 hours to visit with old friends or many other things. Looking at these will surely lead to defeat, depresije, and a downward spiral. Look at what we can accomplish instead! Life is different, not over. It isn’t fair, but then we’ve known that for a long time. I choose to let my disability strengthen me, rather than define me. I challenge you to choose your goal and raditi za to!