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Ajakohastama – 18 Kuud tagasi… Minu teekond Cauda equina sündroom Hakkas

18 Months Ago…

On Feb 11, 2013, I had never heard of Cauda hobuste sündroom (CES). See muutis järgmisel päeval. See on väga päev, 18 kuud tagasi, Ma ärkasin ilma tunne allpool oma talje. Midagi väga valesti juhtus mu keha! Ma ei teadnud seda siis, but I was beginning the journey called Cauda Equina Syndrome.

On this blog I’ve chronicled the first year of that journey. I have been very blessed in my recovery, especially given that it took 14 days to have my decompression surgery and not having ANY feeling below my waist. I won’t cover the details of what has been written before, but this update gives a quick look at my progress since the one year mark.

Many neurosurgeons and other physicians say that nerve regeneration only occurs for 12 kuud, while others say 12 - 18 months is the time in which what healing will happen does happen. My physical therapist told me 18 - 24 kuud. I don’t know if this is “frontline” info or whether she was just trying to motivate me further than I already was.

Minu jaoks, the months since my 1 year anniversary have been challenging with some minor regression – but, I am still seeing spurts of significant regeneration taking place. I went through a period of frequent nerve pain in the top of my right foot. This seemed to be aggravated by my evening commute, which is usually around 1 tund 10 protokoll. The last 10 - 15 minutes of the drive I would get the “electro-shock” feeling so familiar from other body parts earlier in my recovery.

These were so painful I almost became a dangerous driver. I fell back on my flight training skills – ABC – Aviate (Fly the plane, in this case, drive the car – make sure you don’t run into someone or something), Navigate (Don’t get lost and for the car it means make sure you don’t miss a turn while distracted), Communicate (In the air, we’d get help from controllers on the ground, in the car, this just means Comfort – try to find a position where the pain subsides. Those pains left me about a month ago. As they left, they presented me with a going away present of more feeling in my feet. I now only have impaired feeling in a ½ - ¾ inch band around my foot, beginning about ½ inch above the bottoms of the feet (my toes excepted as they have had feeling for some time.)

My legs have feeling back except for the backs of the legs and inner portion of the buttocks, but only the lower ½ of that and the corresponding front area. That too is a recent improvement. I am now able to walk without assistive device for over 100 jalad, but my legs and hips are completely exhausted by the effort and are in moderate pain by the end. But I am improving, slowly but surely, I continue to strengthen and improve.

I still cannot stand for more than 20 - 30 sekundit, nor sit for more than an hour without problems. This limits my ability to travel and is sorely missed (no pun intended.) I keep pushing to improve. If I don’t, I won’t know how much I can improve. So I work full time, with 2 hours round trip commute time. And I walk whenever I can, to the point of not being able to any more. By the time I get home I am exhausted. I still have not had to have surgery on the torn tendon in my right foot.

Despite that, God has allowed me to lead small groups and classes at church. I am truly blessed. None of us who are afflicted with CES want to stay as we are. We learn to deal with the injury and we fight to overcome as much of its affects as possible. It is easy to look around, seeing people who do not appreciate the simple act of being able to walk. Or run. Or stand for a few minutes. Or travel 6 hours to visit with old friends or many other things. Looking at these will surely lead to defeat, depression, and a downward spiral. Look at what we can accomplish instead! Life is different, not over. It isn’t fair, but then we’ve known that for a long time. I choose to let my disability strengthen me, rather than define me. I challenge you to choose your goal and work for it!


CES | Kuu 11 koos Cauda equina sündroom

Kuu 11 on sõidab (kui on Kuu 12 seni, seega see hilises).


Kuu 10 lõppes halbu asju juhtub minu isikliku elu. Neid jätkus enamik Kuu 11 samuti. I was dealing with the feelings caused by my pere member and also a friend. Kahe, purustatud sõprus hurt far more. The relationship with my family member had been on a long slow descent with an abrupt, kuid lühike, cliff at the end. The broken friendship is something that I didn’t see coming… a total surprise and shock. We’ve all been there before, kuid see on olnud nii ammu keegi ma otsustanud, et lähedal minu südames on teinud midagi sellist.


.unknowingMa ei taha, sõprus katki, but it remains that way to this day. For almost a month, I didn’t know how I would feel should my friend ask for forgiveness. Eventually, the hurt receded. This allowed me to align my feelings with my caring for this person. I am now at the point where I can forgive my friend should they ask for it. I can also continue the friendship; aga see ei ole nii lähedal kui enne ... Mul pole mõtet oma elu, kus ma olen valmis usaldama valetas piisavalt, et võimaldada neil võtta minu ring lähedasi sõpru. Perhaps I never will be. The really sad part is that I don't think this person has the first clue that they've done anything to hurt me.




Jõulud came and went during Month 11. We had a nice, quiet time - kuid older saan, the more I miss having a family that loves one another. We don’t have children and that puts us in a lonely place too. I come from a very dysfunctional family. Perhaps that is why I have such revulsion for liars. My family’s holiday gatherings (Tänupüha & Jõulud) alati olnud suur näitab, kus igaüks panna mask ja elas vale, et me kõik olime normaalne, caring family. The rest of the year told a different, sad story. I survived, kuid mitte puutumata, by getting out. 2014 tähistab oma 21st aastal elab sadu (millalgi tuhandeid) of miles from family. If you rule out the “visits” when they were just bringing my Mom to see me, või valida teda üles, Ma võin loota varbad ühe käega mitu korda mu pere on külastanud mind nendes 21 aastat. I, siiski, on külastanud neid vähemalt tosin korda.

On minu CES ...

Kuigi ma kõndisin nagu Frankenstein ja ei suuda tunda minu pahkluude, it seems I had such a poor gait that I tore a tendon in my right ankle. Now that I have some feeling there, Ma teadsin, et midagi muud peale närvi valu Cauda hobuste sündroom was going on. The Doc said only surgery will fix it, but for now I’m only wearing an ankle brace. Had I noticed this earlier last year I would have had the surgery, aga see on uus aasta, with a new insurance deductible. And of course I’m on a high deductible plan (mitte valida - see on kõik minu tööandja pakkumised).

I have regained feeling in a lot of areas. The results of the nerve conductivity tests showed most of the L4/L5 damage has healed. This was the level at which the disk blew out, so I happy with that finding. However the points below L4/L5 still show significant injury and the jury is still out as to what will happen with those areas. I do have more “elektrilöögi"Tüüpi tunded, mostly in my right foot. The backs of my thighs and lower buttocks are still numb as is most of my genital area. B&B on veel küsimus, mis võtab palju haldamine (et põis & Soolestik, mitte Voodi & Hommikusöök).

Mul on julgustatud, kui kuu 11 suletud, poolt väike rühm Piiblitund we’re doing in our home. Between that and studying for my CMA eksami veebruaris, I haven’t had much time for other things or maintaining relationships. I’ll be so glad once this exam is taken. I’ve had to give up some things – things I love doing - on the schedule in order to concentrate on these. After the exam, Mul on veel kaks projekti minu valmis nimekiri, nii et ma jätkab jääda kinni.

Kas minu Cauda equina sündroom mõjutab see kõik? Definitely! Does it help shape my life? Absolutely! Is it defining me? In some small way… it is a part of me, just as my arms or legs are. Yes, Mul on halb päeva, nii füüsiliselt kui emotsionaalselt - loodetavasti mitte mõlemad samal ajal! Through it all I rely on God’s love to see me through. In His love He knew that my back would be injured and He used that event to prod me to grow closer to Him. He has sustained me, rikastab mind, and lifted me up. I am a better person, at a better place in life because of God taking the lemons of Cauda Equina Syndrome and helping me make lemonade out of them. Kui see toob kaasa Ma ei tea, kuid mida seiklus Olen!

Cauda equina sündroom põhjustab rohkem kahju

Sometimes it just doesn't seem to end.moving-forward-quotes253

Kuna mul on olnud närvi regrowth pärast kahju põhjustanud minu Cauda equina sündroom, I was able to feel a pain in my right ankle that wasn't like the pain in my other ankle nor the other side of my right one. Ma pidin seda kontrollida läbi enne jõule. Dr. ütles, et ta arvas, et see oli rebenenud kõõlus & tellida närvijuhtivuse test (hulga määramiseks närvikahjustusi tänaseni) ja MRI sellel parema jala pahkluu. Katsed viidi läbi kohe pärast jõule.

Ma läksin eile Doctor saada tulemusi. Kunagi kahjustada - veel palju; kõõlus - rebitud, ja rebitud nagu kuivõrd ainult määrama see operatsioon. Noh me just alanud uus aasta, et operatsioon oleks välja tasku arvelt. Pole probleemi, kui on midagi taskus. Pärast 4 operatsiooni ja taastusravi mullu vahel Kim ja mina, taskud on tühjad. Nii et me peame usaldama Jumalat, et võimaldada seda. Ükski säte = Ei kirurgia.

blessings-healing-mercies-lauras-story-song-lyrics-the-positive-pear1So I'm wearing a brace and have order to take it easy. Dr. näitas mulle liikumise ma olen, et ei luba oma jala teha, koos mõne tegevuse piirangud (millest enamik ei saa ma niikuinii tõttu Cauda equina sündroom). Ta ütles, et kui ta saab liiga valus või on mul veel halvemaid päevi kui hea, siis on aeg tegutseda.

Siis on taastumine - mitte-kaal, millel enamus jaoks 3 nädalat, kõndimine valatud 3 rohkem nädalat, karastav boot jaoks veel 3 rohkem nädalat siis füsioteraapia. Just nüüd, et lihtsalt ei ole kaarti.

Kuidas on see seotud minu Cauda equina sündroom? Põletik mu pealiskaudne peroneal närvi piiratud, kui palju ülespoole I väänab mu parem jalg, nii kui sammu edasi oma vasaku jala, et piirang hoidsin pahkluu painutamine edasi, nagu peaks. Kui see tabab, et punkt, see oleks "rull" Lisa väljaspool (õigus) küljel Hüppeliigese. See põhjustas palju liikumist halb viise kõõlus, lõpuks põhjustab pisara.

Nii edasi läheme. Siiani on see mõjutanud kiirus ja pikkus minu kõndimine. We'll see what else it affects. Kuid selles, ja kõiges, my wife and I trust God's plan for us. Ja me kiitke teda ja edasi kõndida, kuigi aeglasemalt, Temaga sellel teekonnal.


CES | Kuu 10 koos Cauda equina sündroom

CES | Kuu 10

Kuu 9 tuli sulgeda ja mu naine valmistub oma põlveliigese asendamise operatsiooni. Olime hästi ette valmistatud. Siis, nagu ranniku asukas ratsutamine välja orkaani, see tabas.

Jõudsime haiglasse varakult ja kontrollitud juures 6:59 a.m. Ta võeti pre-op juures 8 a.m., 30 minutes late and the snowball started rolling. They took her to surgery at 9:49 and surgery actually started at 10:23 – now some 53 minutes behind schedule. Why is all of this important? I have Cauda Equina Syndrome and sitting, especially in uncomfortable chairs, takes a toll on me.

I had to get up and walk around every so often then sit back down, as neither is a good long term proposition for me. I was hurting more with each passing minute. At 11:43, my wife’s surgery was done and she went to recovery. I spoke with the surgeon and then went to wait some more.

I got a couple of calls on my cell phone from a recovery room nurse explaining that my wife was slow in being able to move her good leg. They had done a spinal block for the anesthesia rather than a general. After the block, she would have to stay in recovery until she could move legs, jalad, and sets of toes. I hunted down the cafeteria to get some food. After a long walk, I found it.

The food wasn’t bad at all. I sat, resting my legs, until my butt & lower back began hurting again. I dreaded the long walk back to the waiting area, but I had to walk again, so off I went. I actually stopped along the way to give my hips a rest. Walking tires out my leg muscles, particularly my hips, very quickly. I’ve been doing strengthening exercises, but haven’t seen much improvement in several months.

Arriving back at the waiting area, I sat down again for the wait. Just before 3 p.m., they called me to the front desk and advised me that my wife was leaving recovery for her room. Off I went, slowly but surely… down the hall to the next section of the hospital, up the elevators, then down a couple of more halls to her room. On the verge of needing to sit down again, I arrived at her room. There was no name plate on the wall by the door but I entered anyway. Nothing but 2 chairs and a nightstand were there. On the whiteboard, no patient, nurse, or tech names were written. Did I have the right room? Just then, a nurse came in and asked if I was in the right place. I thought of several pain induced sarcastic remarks but quickly quashed those, instead saying, “I guess I beat her here.” The nurse left.

My wife did arrive shortly, and 1 of the chairs was an ortho chair, which type one of my techs during my stay at this hospital earlier this year due to my CES surgery had swiped from this floor to let me sit in. I was very pleased with this because they are comfortable. At last, a comfy chair! In comes my wife’s nurse and tech, along with the social worker. I thought I recognized the tech. When he said his name, Randall, I knew! He had been my tech 9 months earlier. He thought I looked familiar too when I asked him if he had worked on another floor 9 kuud tagasi. He still works the neuro floor but does extra shifts on the ortho floor for some overtime.

My wife’s pain was not well controlled the first 24 hours after surgery so she had to stay in the hospital for 2 nights instead of the planned 1. During this time, my pain was not well controlled either. The morning after surgery, I got out of bed and hurt so badly that I really didn’t want to move. Then I had to go to work… ugh! The next day, I got to pick my wife up and bring her home – Oh Happy Day! Then it was waiting on her, which was nothing like what she had to do while waiting on me earlier in the year! But I didn’t get much rest for a few days and I was in a lot of pain. I felt like I had 4 or 5 months earlier.

Slowly I she and I both recovered. After about 2 nädalat, her recovery accelerated and by the end of 4 nädalat (also the end of Month 10 of my CES), she was ready to start driving again. Only in the last week did my pain subside, in part due to Thanksgiving.

Central Ohio was visited by a snow storm just before Thanksgiving. With this being the first snow for our Elantra, I didn’t know how well it would do. I had it parked in the garage which requires a climb up a moderately steep hill for 70 jalad, then a 70 degree right turn, followed by another 40 feet of steep hill to get to our street. Our former ride, a 2010 Prius, made that in 4 inches of snow with no problem… not so the Elantra. To be fair, the Prius had high end Michelin all weather traction tires on it. Since we’re not worn out the OEM tires on the Elantra yet, we’ve not replaced the tires so this isn’t necessarily a fair comparison. Niikuinii, the Elantra couldn’t quite make it to the turn in the driveway… I was stuck. My wife’s ’98 Caddy was parked in front of the house with a straight shot up the last section of driveway, except her sister had parked it straight in instead of backing it in – no way to get it out until the driveway thaws.

So, being ever so adventurous, I decide the next day to walk down the driveway to get our snow shovel out of our outbuilding. Yep, you guessed it, I slipped and fell. In the process, I injured my back. At first it seemed to be just muscle. After a day or so, it seemed like a disk bulging but not rupturing. Lots of heating pad time and rest helped my back return to normal. After all of this adventure, I feel better and with less pain than when the month started.

I had pain in the right superficial peroneal nerve since my Feb injury. Not really raw pain but a tightness, in the front part of my ankle. When walking and stepping forward with my left foot, if I stepped too far the nerve would bend no further and my ankle would roll to the right. Very disconcerting and painful. Last week my ankle gave a loud “pop” and the tightness and pain went away. Evidently the swollen nerve is continuing to decrease and did so to the point where it broke free of its impingement. Good. Very good.

Spiritually this month was a learning and testing month. Everything encountered in Month 10 was a challenge to some aspect of my surrender of everything to God in Month 9. I was pondering, for a time, the regression of my symptoms. I had my schedule overloaded. I was hurting and tired. A family member turned his back on me after I had been his biggest supporter while he was growing up. My crime against him was telling him some things he was saying weren’t true and I didn’t want him spreading falsehoods because it would make him look less intelligent. He told me off and cutoff communication. I also felt the sting of dishonesty from a friend. Those who know me know that honesty is an absolute with me. I give it and expect it. While I know that most people engage in what they consider small lies to their friends, it is extremely NOT a small matter with me. In this case, I'm sure they thought nothing of it, not even aware they did it... nor of how my discovery of it would affect me. My asking God to teach me to have more grace is being answered through this, but it is definitely not the way I would want to develop more grace.

In the end, physically I end Month 10 doing better than last month. Life is becoming still busier, and that is good due to what is making it that way. Emotionally & spiritually, I’m battling through the emotional aspects of actions by my family member and my friend. I have always been one for reconciliation but these will be difficult. So on to Month 11! Coming up on a year, and I think coming up on an end to the posts on this blog. My battle with CES turned into my life with CES, which has mostly pushed CES into the rearview mirror. Yes, I still have it. Yes, it affects me every day. Yes, it will still do so for the rest of my life. But I’ve come out of my encounter with it. It is God’s mark of ownership on me and I’m growing used to it being here. Its impact on me has been to drive profound and beneficial changes in me. That drive is coming to an end and soon it will be parked by the house, around but not used, destined to become a rusting old junk heap with weeds growing up around it. Yeah, that’s a good place for it.