CES | ماه 11 مبتلا به سندرم دم اسب

ماه 11 دارد پرواز توسط (به عنوان است ماه 12 تا کنون, در نتیجه این اواخر پست).

.lies

ماه 10 ended with some bad things happening in my personal life. These continued through most of Month 11 as well. I was dealing with the feelings caused by my خانواده member and also a friend. Of the two, شکسته دوستی hurt far more. The relationship with my family member had been on a long slow descent with an abrupt, اما کوتاه, cliff at the end. The broken friendship is something that I didn’t see coming… a total surprise and shock. We’ve all been there before, اما تا زمانی از کسی که من برگزار شد که نزدیک در قلب من چنین چیزی انجام شده است.

 

.unknowingمن نمی خواهم دوستی شکسته, but it remains that way to this day. For almost a month, I didn’t know how I would feel should my friend ask for forgiveness. سرانجام, the hurt receded. This allowed me to align my feelings with my caring for this person. I am now at the point where I can forgive my friend should they ask for it. I can also continue the friendship; با این حال آن را نمی خواهد به عنوان نزدیک به عنوان قبل از ... من در یک نقطه در زندگی من جایی که من مایل به دروغگو به اندازه کافی اعتماد به آنها اجازه می دهد به دایره من از دوستان نزدیک نیست. Perhaps I never will be. The really sad part is that I don't think this person has the first clue that they've done anything to hurt me.

 

 

.trust

کریسمس came and went during Month 11. We had a nice, quiet time - اما درجهlder من, the more I miss having a family that loves one another. We don’t have children and that puts us in a lonely place too. I come from a very dysfunctional family. Perhaps that is why I have such revulsion for liars. My family’s holiday gatherings (شکر گزاری & کریسمس) همیشه نشان می دهد بزرگ است که در آن هر کس در یک ماسک قرار داده و زندگی می کردند از دروغ که ما همه نرمال بودند, caring family. The rest of the year told a different, sad story. I survived, اما صدمه ندیده نمی, by getting out. 2014 نشانه من 21خیابان سال از صدها زندگی (گاهی هزار) of miles from family. If you rule out the “visits” when they were just bringing my Mom to see me, یا انتخاب کنید او را تا, I می تواند بر روی انگشتان پا از یک سو تعداد چند بار خانواده ام به من در آن بازدید کردند 21 years. من, اما, آنها را دست کم دوازده بار بازدید.

در به CES من ...

در حالی که من مانند فرانکشتاین در راه بود و قادر به احساس مچ پا من, it seems I had such a poor gait that I tore a tendon in my right ankle. Now that I have some feeling there, من چیزی غیر از درد عصبی از می دانستند سندرم اسب دم was going on. The Doc said only surgery will fix it, but for now I’m only wearing an ankle brace. Had I noticed this earlier last year I would have had the surgery, اما در سال جدید است, with a new insurance deductible. And of course I’m on a high deductible plan (نه توسط انتخاب - آن همه کارفرمای من پیشنهادات است).

I have regained feeling in a lot of areas. The results of the nerve conductivity tests showed most of the L4/L5 damage has healed. This was the level at which the disk blew out, so I happy with that finding. However the points below L4/L5 still show significant injury and the jury is still out as to what will happen with those areas. I do have more “شوک الکتریکی"نوع احساسات, mostly in my right foot. The backs of my thighs and lower buttocks are still numb as is most of my genital area. B&B هنوز هم مشکل است که طول می کشد بسیاری از مدیریت (که مثانه است & روده, نه بستر & صبحانه).

I تشویق شده اند, به عنوان ماه 11 بسته, توسط گروه کوچک مطالعه کتاب مقدس we’re doing in our home. Between that and studying for my CMA آزمون در بهمن ماه, I haven’t had much time for other things or maintaining relationships. I’ll be so glad once this exam is taken. I’ve had to give up some things – things I love doing - on the schedule in order to concentrate on these. After the exam, من یک زن و شوهر از پروژه های دیگر در لیست آماده من, بنابراین من ادامه خواهد داد به خود مشغول.

آیا سندرم دم Equina من تاثیر می گذارد همه از این? Definitely! Does it help shape my life? Absolutely! Is it defining me? In some small way… it is a part of me, just as my arms or legs are. بله, من روز بد, جسمی و هم عاطفی - امیدوارم نه هر دو در همان زمان! Through it all I rely on God’s love to see me through. In His love He knew that my back would be injured and He used that event to prod me to grow closer to Him. He has sustained me, من پرورش, and lifted me up. I am a better person, at a better place in life because of God taking the lemons of Cauda Equina Syndrome and helping me make lemonade out of them. Where that will lead I do not know, اما آنچه ماجراجویی من در هستم!

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