CES | माह 8 पुच्छ पुच्छ सिंड्रोम के साथ

ces awarenss wristbandमेरे 8 साथ महीने पुच्छ घोड़ा सिंड्रोम अब किताबों में है और क्या एक महीने! हम सितम्बर पर वापस हमारे पुराने घर में ले जाया गया 6 और unpacking की प्रक्रिया शुरू. मैं सितम्बर से समय से दूर ले गया 6 - 15 इसलिए मैं इस कदम पर नजर रखने में मदद कर सकता है (और शायद यह भी एक छोटा सा मदद.) हम धीरे धीरे इसे ले जा रहा हूँ, बाहर हमारी ऊर्जा और दर्द के स्तर पैमाइश. मेरी पत्नी और मैं बेहद एक साथ हमारे समय का आनंद लिया. हम एक साथ हमारे भक्ति बार किया और फिर गहराई में यह चर्चा, अक्सर उस पर एक घंटे या अधिक एक दिन बिताने. हम सच का एक बहुत बयान में है कि पता चला, "करीब एक जोड़ी हो जाता है भगवान को, करीब वे एक दूसरे से मिलता है. "हम एक शांत वातावरण में पुन: कनेक्ट की एक महान समय था. हमें यकीन है कि यह समय की जरूरत!

बस से पहले इस महीने के अंत तक 7, मैं CES जूझ में एक निम्न बिंदु पर पहुंच गया. शारीरिक चुनौती के लंबे दिनों, भावनात्मक टोल, और मेरी पत्नी पर दबाव के रूप में अच्छी तरह से एक सिर के लिए आया था. मैं यह तो नहीं पता था, लेकिन भगवान ही दिन दूर था क्या के लिए मुझे तैयारी कर रहा था. मैं एक रात में कई घंटे खर्च के रूप में उन्होंने कहा कि मुझे पूरी तरह से टूट गया, रोना और उसे बाहर रो. मैं जवाब और समझ के लिए देख रहा था. अंत में, मैं शारीरिक रूप से खर्च किया गया था, भावनात्मक रूप से, मानसिक और आध्यात्मिक. तो फिर कुछ भी नहीं था. कोई उत्साह, कोई आराम, कोई जवाब नहीं. मैं सो गया.

Blessed be your nameइसके तत्काल बाद सुबह जागने पर, मैं भगवान का जवाब था पता था. उनकी शांति की तरह कभी नहीं से पहले मुझ पर था और मैं अपनी सुविधा मुझे लपेटकर लगा. नहीं एक भौतिक अर्थ में एक, लेकिन अभी यह जानकर, मेरी जा रहा भर में, उन्होंने सुना था और मेरे लिए उनका प्यार दिखा रहा था कि. यह जीवन पर अपने दृष्टिकोण को बदला, पुच्छ इक्वाइन सिंड्रोम मेरे, और भी बहुत कुछ. मैं भी इस ब्लॉग का शीर्षक बदला. आप इसके बारे में यहाँ और अधिक पढ़ सकते हैं - http://wp.me/p3A64Y-7V

अध्ययन के दौरान मेरी पत्नी और मैं जाने के बाद एक साथ कर रहे थे, हम में से प्रत्येक (अलग) हम धीरे - धीरे भगवान से हमारे जीवन वापस ले लिया था कि एक वसूली के लिए और आया है कि वह पूरी तरह से उसके लिए करने के लिए हमें वापस बुला रहा था. यह यह है कि हम कभी भी यह माना था की तुलना में कहीं अधिक था स्पष्ट था कि क्योंकि हम जानते हैं कि प्रतिबद्धता की गहराई का पता लगाया. हम हर उस दिन यह सोचा जैसा, वर्ड में डूब गया. उस शाम, अपने उद्देश्यों के लिए भगवान से मेरी जिंदगी से बेदखल - मैं मैं के सभी जाने का फैसला किया था कि मेरी पत्नी से कहा. वह एक ही फैसला किया था. हम एक साथ आनन्द.

महीने में 8, मैं भी अपने पुच्छ पुच्छ सिंड्रोम के बारे में कानूनी कार्रवाई के लिए सड़क का अंत हो गया. मैं था 2 अलग कानून फर्मों एक संभव कदाचार के दावे के लिए मामले को देखने. दोनों वकीलों शक के बिना वहाँ कहना था कि चिकित्सा कदाचार मुझ पर प्रतिबद्ध. तथापि, ओहियो कानून के तहत, एक चिकित्सा कदाचार मामले की "मूल्य" कदाचार एक अंतर बना अगर अपने परिणाम हो गया होता कितना बेहतर द्वारा निर्धारित किया जाता है. मैं बहुत इस प्रकार अब तक मेरे वसूली में भगवान से आशीर्वाद दिया गया है. पुच्छ पुच्छ सिंड्रोम से पीड़ित हैं जो सबसे ज्यादातर छोड़ दिया है या अपने जीवन के आराम के लिए पूरी तरह से निष्क्रिय कर रहे हैं - दर्द से निपटने, भावना का अकड़ना / कमी, मूत्राशय और आंत्र समस्याओं और यौन रोग.

मैं अपनी सर्जरी के बाद मुश्किल धक्का दिया गया है, फिर अस्पताल में तीव्र पुनर्वास में एक सप्ताह बिताने 2 आउट पेशेंट के महीने शारीरिक थेरेपी. मैं ईमानदारी से मेरी फैला है और अभ्यास किया है. मैं काम करने के लिए अपने आप को वापस इच्छाशक्ति और कई महीनों के लिए दर्द के माध्यम से काम किया. मेरा वसूली, उद्देश्य मानकों के द्वारा, उल्लेखनीय रहा है. सर्जरी के समय में मेरा रोग का निदान के कारण CES के निदान और उपचार में कदाचार और देरी करने के लिए सबसे ज्यादा संभव परिणाम श्रेणी में था. भगवान उन सब को मूर्ख बनाया. मैं अभी भी ऊपर की समस्याओं के सभी है, लेकिन वे मेरी गतिविधियों पर उचित उपचार और समझदार सीमाओं के साथ काफी प्रबंध कर रहे हैं. मैं शीर्ष में हूँ 5% परिणाम संभावनाओं की. तो तुम कदाचार नहीं हुआ था कि देख सकते हैं, मेरे वास्तविक परिणाम ज्यादा नहीं होगा, यदि कोई हो, यह किया गया है की तुलना में बेहतर. कानूनी तौर पर, कि कदाचार में कोई फर्क नहीं किया है. मैं मैं चाहिए की तुलना में बेहतर कर रहा हूँ क्योंकि मैं इन लक्षणों और मेरे जीवन के आराम के लिए, लेकिन प्रतिबंध के साथ काम किया जाएगा, यह लायक कुछ भी नहीं है. तुम्हें पता है क्या? मैं एक अच्छा कदाचार मामला इतना खराब किया होने पर मेरे वसूली ले जाऊँगा - किसी भी दिन!!!

सप्ताह मेरी पत्नी और मैं प्रतिबद्ध है और भगवान के लिए पूरी तरह से बेदखल होने के बाद हम पर महान आध्यात्मिक हमले से एक था. गलत जा सकता है कि सब कुछ किया, 10 यह किया है से अधिक बार. और फिर कुछ! मैं में ऐसा कुछ भी कभी नहीं देखा है मेरी 55 साल. हम इतना सब कुछ के साथ पैदा हुई समस्या है कि साथ अभिभूत थे, एक अनैतिक व्यापार के साथ लड़ने से, स्वास्थ्य के साथ बीमा के मुद्दों के लिए, घर, जीवन और ऑटो बीमा, मेल करने के लिए जा रहे लापता (यह एक महत्वपूर्ण पत्र ले लिया 20 इसे बनाने के लिए दिन 40 मील), पारगमन में गायब फार्मेसी के आदेश (और इसे ठीक करने के लिए कंपनी में किसी तक पहुँचने में असमर्थ), कार समस्याओं का, और ज्यादा, और अधिक!

सबसे पहले, हम अपने पुराने दिनों में लौट गिर गया और अभिभूत और गुस्सा महसूस करने लगे. लेकिन भगवान ने हमें हम क्या थे करने के लिए वापस जाने के लिए नहीं जा रहा था. उन्होंने कहा कि यह एक आध्यात्मिक हमला था कि हमें पता चला है और अपनी सुविधा के साथ हमें शांत. तुम्हें पता है क्या, वह सही था. इसके बारे में कोई उसे आश्चर्य, उन्होंने कहा कि वह उन लोगों के साथ जो चाहे कर सकता है तो वह हमारे जीवन है, और परिणाम आश्चर्यजनक था. हम सभी प्रार्थना की देश भर से एक प्रार्थना अनुरोध और कई लोगों को बाहर रखा. हम संरक्षित और हमलों रह गया.

महीने के आराम में 8, मैं अब आने हूँ 100 मील एक दिन, गोल यात्रा. मैं बस में काम करने में यात्रा कर सकते हैं 45 मिनट. तथापि, यात्रा घर के बारे में लेता है 65-75 मिनट. पुराने दिनों में (पिछले महीने), मैं उस समय में रोड रेज के साथ एक घबराहट में अपने आप को काम किया होता! अब, भगवान मैं काम करने के लिए जब से नियंत्रण में है और जब मैं घर जाओ. मैं सिर्फ उसके साथ बात कर रही है और सख्त frazzled रहे हैं जो अन्य चालकों के लिए विनम्र होने का आनंद. मैं मुझे दूसरों की तुलना में जल्दी यातायात के माध्यम से स्थानांतरित करने की अनुमति अपने "उत्कृष्ट" ड्राइविंग कौशल पर गर्व करने के लिए खुद को इस्तेमाल. अब मैं दूसरों की मदद करने के लिए ड्राइव, वे अक्सर यह पता नहीं होगा, भले ही. और मैं नए रास्ते से बाहर एक बहुत बड़ा चार्ज हो!

Charles Spurgeon (C.H. Spurgeon)
चार्ल्स Spurgeon (C.H. Spurgeon) (फोटो क्रेडिट: विकिपीडिया)

सारांश में, महीने के अंत में 8, जीवन अच्छा है. यह निश्चित रूप से मैं व्यक्तिगत पहलुओं से बनाया गया है या चाहता होगा क्या नहीं है. लेकिन क्या भगवान के पूरे मेरे साथ अपने रिश्ते के साथ अपने जीवन के बने होते हैं और मुझ में किया गया है, महान है! मैं और अधिक मैं कभी भी एक प्यार सकता है पता था की तुलना में अपनी पत्नी से प्यार. और मेरे ईसाई परिवार के लिए प्यार में कई गुना बढ़ गया है. मेरा जीवन अब मैं मेरे लिए भगवान की इच्छा से हो रहा है, यह जानकर कि जीवन के माध्यम से जाने के रूप में मैं दूसरों की मदद कर सकते हैं पर ध्यान केंद्रित कर रहा है, शब्दों में, विचारों, और कार्रवाई, यीशु का विस्तार. दूसरों को मेरे साथ बातचीत करते हैं, वे यीशु और उनके लिए उनका प्यार देखना चाहिए. यह अब मुझे क्या ड्राइव है. यह ईसाइयों खुद कहते हैं, जो सभी ड्राइव करना चाहिए क्या है. चार्ल्स Spurgeon एक बार कहा था, "हर ईसाई मिशनरी या एक ठग या तो है."कौन हो तुम?

माह 8 = अधिक सामान्य लग रहा है, tingly दर्दनाक में tingly दर्दनाक नहीं की अधिक बदलते (यह सामान्य लग रहा है की दिशा में आंदोलन का मतलब), और बेहतर आंत्र & मूत्राशय गतिविधि. मैं नसों उत्थान के सबसे पहले में होने वाली के साथ एक वर्ष के लिए पुनर्जन्म होता बताया गया था 6 महीने. मैं महीने के बाद से कोई महत्वपूर्ण परिवर्तन किया था 2. शायद मैं बहुत व्यस्त था लड़ाई पुच्छ पुच्छ सिंड्रोम के बजाय जीवित इसके साथ. मैं उन्होंने कहा कि जिस तरह से चल रही है पर विश्वास नहीं है क्योंकि मैं यह उसे बेदखल करने के लिए भगवान से एक इनाम है कि कहने के लिए नहीं जा रहा हूँ. उन्होंने कहा कि हम सभी को प्यार करता है और हम सभी को यीशु में विश्वास करने के लिए चाहता है, मोक्ष के लिए पहली और दूसरी जीवन के लिए. पहले हम उसके साथ एक सही रिश्ता है और एक दिन स्वर्ग में उसके साथ रह सकते हैं एक ही रास्ता के रूप में हमारे घर में यीशु की मृत्यु पर भरोसा करने के लिए - वह अनुमति देता है या हमारे जीवन में कारण बनता है कि उन सभी दो गोल करने के लिए हमें लाने के लिए कर रहे हैं. हम किया है कि एक बार, भगवान यीशु की छवियों में हमें करने के लिए हमारी ओर अपने संसाधनों के सभी केंद्रित है - हम यीशु की तरह दयालु और प्यार शब्द है ढाला रहे हैं, यीशु की तरह शालीन और उदार विचार है, और नहीं WWJD (क्या यीशु क्या होगा?) लेकिन WDJD - यीशु क्या किया? कैसे वह दूसरों के लिए और पिता के लिए प्यार के साथ कार्य किया? क्या हम वह आज कुछ के बारे में तरह कार्य होता नहीं लगता, बजाय सब बातों में उनके प्यार का अभिनय.

क्या एक महीने! क्या एक जीवन! पढ़ने के लिए धन्यवाद, मेरा परिवार, मेरे मित्रों, और अपनी आत्मा में मेरे बढ़ाया परिवार.

Zemanta से बढ़ी

अन्याय – मेरी पुच्छ पुच्छ सिंड्रोम कानूनी स्टोरी

Malpractice - 165/365 Because it is rare, some who develop पुच्छ घोड़ा सिंड्रोम are the victims of चिकित्सा कदाचार. Anecdotal stories abound, along with some documented ones, of CES being brought on or made worse by malpractice. Given the laws covering malpractice in varying jurisdictions and the variability of each person's CES, no one can be certain if a case exists or how it will turn out. This is my story. It has been reviewed by 2 Ohio attorneys who have experience in Cauda Equina Syndrome malpractice cases. You won't like what it says about our legislatures, legal system, and of course doctor education.

My Cauda Equina Syndrome started with my injury. Within 10 hours of the onset of my CES symptoms, I was in an Emergency Room in Westerville, ओह. Upon waking on the morning of Feb 12, 2013, I found that I not only had the severe back and sciatic pain of the night before, but now I was NUMB from the waist down! I could not void my bladder nor defecate. I could not move my feet up इन 3nor down and without feeling in my feet and ankles, I could not balance. These are all classic symptoms of Cauda Equina Syndrome. Fortunately we had a wheelchair (and some adult diapers) and just after 10 a.m., I arrived at the ER in my wheelchair.

We had been told that this ER was fast and efficient, and it was close to the office of the physician who suspected Cauda Equina Syndrome and sent us to an ER (with specific directions to have an MRI done.) Immediately upon arrival at the ER, I was wheeled to an exam room and I transferred from my wheelchair to the exam table. My vitals were taken and the male nurse assigned to me came in for the initial assessment. He stood about 5' 4", के बारे में 150 pounds, a pleasant. individual who began asking about my symptoms. With my mentioning Cauda Equina Syndrome, he asked if I was incontinent. I said, "No. I can't go!" He then asked me to stand up. I told him I couldn't. I knew I would fall right over, not because my legs wouldn't support me but because I had no balance. And I knew that his small frame would be overwhelmed by my 6 foot tall, 325 pound body. No way he can stop me from falling over if he doesn't prevent it to start with. I told him so, yet he insisted. The results were predictable. On standing up, I immediately began tilting (away from him, naturally) and over I went. The nurse could no longer stop it. The rolling chair in front of a fixed desk was in line with my movement. I was able to grab the back of the chair and as it rolled into the desk, it locked in and I was able to stop my fall. He asked me again if I was incontinent. I responded as I had before. That concluded the initial exam.

A short while later the nurse came back in. He told me that the ER doctor had ordered an MRI for me. The MRI machine was located at the other end of this Ohio Health Medical Campus and did not have an opening for me for almost 4 घंटे. I had to wait, on that exam table, in pain, until then. The nurse did check on me a couple of times, one time bringing me a couple of replacement diapers as my bladder was so full it was leaking (I still couldn't go!) Thankfully, my wife had some snacks in her purse or I would have been without food for over 10 hours that day - not good for a diabetic! No one ever asked if I was hungry, even though I was there over lunch time. Around 2:15 p.m. the nurse came and took me to the MRI machine. As we wheeled in, I could see that the machine was an older type that was very small. I did not think I would fit. They told me the test would last about 45 minutes and that I needed to lie as still as possible (easy to do when you rate your pain at a 10 and you are not medicated - NOT). I was put into the machine and I did fit, तथापि, as I tried to breathe,

The opening in a GE Signa MRI machine
The opening in a GE Signa MRI machine (फोटो क्रेडिट: विकिपीडिया)

I could not fully expand my chest to take in a breath. I could get no more than 1/2 a breath before the constriction of the machine prevented further expansion of my chest. After several partial breaths, I knew that I could not breathe this way for 45 मिनट. I told them so and I was removed from the machine - it was just a little too small. As I was wheeled back to the ER, the nurse told me about the larger machines and the open MRI machines in the area. He said, "We can get you into one of those. We'll see what we can do about that." I was returned to the exam table to wait. A half an hour passed with no one checking on me. Then the ER doctor arrived. He told me who he was and that he had been overseeing my care. He then asked me twice if I was incontinent. Again I responded with, "Not incontinent, I can't go!" Then he said, "You do NOT have Cauda Equina Syndrome. Since we are an Emergency Room and your case is not emergent, we can not refer you to an outpatient MRI facility. I'm going to give you a prescription for Percocet and a referral to our group's back specialist, for a first available appointment. He can order an MRI for you." With that he was gone.

Shortly, a person came in and told my wife and I that 2 more people would be coming in, one with the discharge papers and another to wheel me out of the facility. के बारे में 3:15, the woman with the prescription and discharge papers came in. The discharge papers said I should come back to the ER if any of my symptoms got worse OR if I developed any of these symptoms:

"Increased pain, abdominal pain, fever, difficulty controlling bowel/bladder, or any further concerns."

That was on one page of the instructions.

Another page stated this:

"YOU SHOULD SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION IMMEDIATELY, EITHER HERE OR AT THE NEAREST EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT, IF ANY OF THE FOLLOWING OCCURS:

  • Loss of bowel or bladder control (you soil of wet yourself).
  • Weakness of inability to walk or user your leg(s) or arm(s).
  • Pain not relieved by pain medication.
  • Fever (temperature over 100.5 F) or shaking chills.
  • Severe pain that settles over one particular vertebrae (bone) in your back."

I laughed when I read these! Well as much as one can laugh while in the worst pain I've ever felt. I already had most of these return or get immediate attention symptoms!! The woman said that these were just generic discharge instructions for herniated discs and not specific to me.

Most medical literature states that decompressive surgery must be done within 24-48 hours or the outcome is far worse. Once those 48 hours are gone, you're pretty well going to wind up disabled for the rest of your life. So says the literature. I can tell you right now that that is not always the case as I'm living proof, but that is another story.

Other medical literature says that the surgery must be done within 6-12 hours to effect the outcome. Still other studies say that time to surgery doesn't affect the outcome. Why such divergence? Cauda Equina Syndrome is rare. No one knows exactly how rare, but my research of available estimates would indicate no more than a few hundred new cases a year in the U.S.

It ultimately took 2 weeks for my surgery to be performed. The surgery at Riverside Methodist Hospital in Columbus, OH went well, I went through Acute Rehab there for a week after the surgery. I then went through 15 sessions of Physical Therapy at NovaCare in Westerville, ओह. My outcome is that I have some normal feeling again in my waist area somewhat in my thighs and in my shins. I have painful tingling in other parts of my thighs and in my feet. My calves are mostly numb unless pressed upon - then I can tell the leg muscles are cramped up, but the good part is that I can't feel the cramps. I do stretches several times a day for calves and hamstrings. I use vision for balance and the leg weakness has diminished, i.e. strength has returned, to the point where I can walk about 500 feet with a cane and about 125 feet unassisted. Bowel and bladder functioning is that they function, I just can't control them or tell when I have to go - I get surprises. I try to go on a regular schedule to avoid surprises and I can tell most of the time when my bladder is getting close to the leaking point. I get a minute or two of warning on bowel movements most of the time, but I don't generally feel them.

In other words, my delayed surgery should have left me disabled, in bed, cathing myself, and on pain killers. I work full time, am ambulatory over short distances don't need cathing, and am on mild, non-narcotic pain relievers. In short, my recovery has been great. One of the best. तथापि, I still have a life of everyday being a physical challenge and struggle. That won't change, but that's okay (subject of another story.) I did a lot of wondering if I would have gotten back to normal, or almost normal, had I had surgery quickly, अंदर 48 घंटे. Feeling that the care I received from the ER doctor was negligent, I took everything to a Columbus, OH attorney. He called on another attorney in Cleveland, OH for a second opinion.

They both agreed that malpractice was committed, that the ER doctor "dropped the ball" as one of the attorneys put it. तथापि, due to the standards for malpractice claims in Ohio, both attorneys felt that proving that the doctor's negligence greatly affected my outcome (my really much better than predicted by the facts outcome) would be an insurmountable challenge in court. Since that is the portion that really drives the dollar amount of any settlement, and thus the attorney's fees, my remarkable, blessed recovery makes pursuing the malpractice and negligence of the ER doctor not feasible. If I had not pushed to recover, I could have gotten a nice settlement... I'll take my recovery anytime!

So the summary is that the laws in Ohio say that what I've been through, and will go through the rest of my life, amounts to nothing. Our legal system is such that only lucrative cases are pursued. And our medical system does not educate doctors, nurses, and first responders adequately nor does it keep them updated. Had the ER doctor realized that bladder retention and not only incontinence is an indicator, we would have been golden. The info regarding retention is widely available on the internet and in medical journals.

To discount the correct diagnosis on the basis of 1 symptom is not what I want in a doctor. I feel that justice has lost in this one. तथापि, I am at peace with this as I relate in this post - My Blog Title Changed but Still About Cauda Equina Syndrome and Me.

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ब्लॉग का शीर्षक बदल गया है लेकिन अभी भी पुच्छ पुच्छ सिंड्रोम के बारे में & मुझे

I have changed the title of my blog. Why? Not out of boredom or just liking change, much has happened since my last post. I'll soon post about it, but for now we can say that the Lord has changed my view of what has happened to me... and His immediate purposes behind it.

My faith has seen me through this "Battle" with पुच्छ घोड़ा सिंड्रोम (CES) thus far, but I had no idea where my faith journey was heading. हां, I wondered why this had happened, what God wanted me to learn and how I should view it. We all know that bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. We always want to know why and often the answer we get is that we may never know why in this lifetime so we just have to live with it. I've heard a lot over the years about people with terrible injuries and diseases "लड़ाई" or "battling" those things which seek to either ruin or take their life. Friends and relatives have been touched by, and some lost to, injuries or disease. Now it is my turn.

What I came to realize is that I had stopped growing spiritually and I was barely being effective in God's Kingdom. God wanted so much more from me but I had succumbed to "The Rat Race" and devoted myself to my work. Don't get me wrong, work is important, but so much more had suffered. My relationship with my wife, my time and service to God and the joy was gone from my life. Through this time of a changed life, where the daily routine of getting up and going to work is a draining physical challenge for me, I've seen myself as battling CES as though my faith, grit and determination were being tested. While they were being tested, that wasn't all. My focus had been on recovering far more than the doctors and physical therapists ever thought I could, further than the medical research said I could. I was going to win my "Battle". I didn't, and don't, hold out the idea of a complete recovery but my goal has been to be able to walk without assistance again - a lofty goal for someone with CES.

It was my attitude that needed changing. I saw this as a challenge where my faith would see me through and coming out the other side of this I would give the credit to God. I would be a faithful soldier in His service. Nothing wrong with that, but... God wanted me. All of me. He has wanted all of me for a long time. I thought I had given myself to Him fully many years ago. He has used me in so many ways everywhere I've lived. But as I said, I had slowly slipped back in to taking His blessings and running with it for my own purposes without even considering His. My wife tried to help me see it, but I was too focused on my goal - which had been so out of reach and now, because of God's blessing, was within my grasp. My attitude had slowly changed and was no longer good. God's smackdown on me physically also affected me emotionally, mentally and spiritually as well. अंत में, everything was stripped away but the spiritual. I found that I had taken myself back from God and He was calling me to give myself completely to Him. Only this time, I understand there is much more depth in this commitment than I ever thought possible before.


In the Ohio derecho storms of June 29, 2012, we lost an old Ash tree that was 85 feet in length. Two men gave us a really good quote on cutting up the tree, removing the stump, and hauling it all away. They figured they could do it in 2 days, 6 hours a day . The stump was incredibly stubborn. Once they started on it, they found it had thick roots running out in all directions for many, many feet. It was too thick for their saws. They chopped at it with axes and worked 3 days from morning till dark. They even had another person come help. And still the stump remained. Finally they rented a stump grinder and did their best. That stump beat them badly for days. In the end, they accomplished what we needed leaving a small mound where the tree had been, तथापि, there are still roots under that mound. And they had spent over 40 hours on the project. Their quote earned them less than $6 per hour.

That's how it is when I first gave myself "fully" to God. I saw what looked like full commitment and made that commitment. Over time, there was more and more revealed but I had my goals and dreams too and there was no time, no room, for truly giving myself to God as fully as He wanted. In time, I took back what I had given Him. Suddenly, this year, God changed all of that. Stricken with an injury that would change the rest of my life, taking away many of the things I wanted to do and accomplish, I now had time for Him. I've learned that He wants all of me, and I've made that commitment to Him. अब, whatever recovery I have is fine with me. Of course being who I am, I will still be pushing for the best results possible. As with many whom God used in the past, He has place His mark of ownership on me - my CES. It is a reminder of whose I am, whose strength I depend on, and who has complete control of my life. We are not to give God a little, or even a large, part in our lives. He wants our whole life to be a part of His. He wants to live out His life through us. That's what the Bible means when Paul wrote in the 8th Chapter of Romans that we who believe are being shaped and molded by God to be just like Jesus. Not just our character, but character drives motivation, and out of motivation comes actions. God uses the events in our lives to transform us (Romans 12), and He transforms us into people who think, act, speak, and love just like Jesus. Why? So He can reach people who don't know, or those who don't care about His love.

No wonder so many in America today don't want anything to do with Christianity or church - look at how we Christians live! That isn't God's plan. Time for me to get with the plan. And I no longer fight CES, but it is a mark of ownership on me and of my commitment to God. So it is now "पुच्छ पुच्छ सिंड्रोम के साथ मेरे जीवन" and thus the new name for my blog.


 

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