Wulan 11 wis mibur dening (minangka wis Wulan 12 supaya adoh, mangkono iki pungkasan kirim).
Wulan 10 ended with some bad things happening in my personal life. These continued through most of Month 11 as well. I was dealing with the feelings caused by my kulawarga member and also a friend. Of the two, sing bejat paseduluran hurt far more. The relationship with my family member had been on a long slow descent with an abrupt, nanging cendhak, cliff at the end. The broken friendship is something that I didn’t see coming… a total surprise and shock. We’ve all been there before, nanging wis dadi dawa wiwit wong aku dianakaké sing cedhak ing ati wis rampung kuwi bab.
Aku ora pengin paseduluran Broken, but it remains that way to this day. For almost a month, I didn’t know how I would feel should my friend ask for forgiveness. Eventually, the hurt receded. This allowed me to align my feelings with my caring for this person. I am now at the point where I can forgive my friend should they ask for it. I can also continue the friendship; Nanging iku bakal ora dadi minangka close minangka sadurunge ... aku ora ing titik ing gesang Pendhaftaran ngendi Aku mw kanggo dipercaya seneng goroh cukup kanggo ngidini mau menyang Pendhaftaran bunder saka kanca cedhak. Perhaps I never will be. The really sad part is that I don't think this person has the first clue that they've done anything to hurt me.
Natal came and went during Month 11. We had a nice, quiet time - nanging older aku njaluk, the more I miss having a family that loves one another. We don’t have children and that puts us in a lonely place too. I come from a very dysfunctional family. Perhaps that is why I have such revulsion for liars. My family’s holiday gatherings (Panuwun & Natal) padha tansah nuduhake amba ngendi everyone sijine topeng lan urip metu ana ing sing kita padha kabeh normal, caring family. The rest of the year told a different, sad story. I survived, nanging ora unscathed, by getting out. 2014 tandha Pendhaftaran 21St taun urip atusan (arang-arang ewu) of miles from family. If you rule out the “visits” when they were just bringing my Mom to see me, utawa Pick dheweke munggah, Aku bisa count ing driji sikil saka tangan siji carane kakehan Pendhaftaran kulawarga wis dibukak kula ing iku 21 taun. I, Nanging, wis ditiliki paling kaping rolas.
On menyang Pendhaftaran CES ...
Nalika aku iki nyawang kaya Frankenstein lan biso kanggo aran Pendhaftaran ankles, it seems I had such a poor gait that I tore a tendon in my right ankle. Now that I have some feeling there, Aku sumurup soko liyane saka pain syaraf saka Cauda Equine sindrom was going on. The Doc said only surgery will fix it, but for now I’m only wearing an ankle brace. Had I noticed this earlier last year I would have had the surgery, nanging taun anyar, with a new insurance deductible. And of course I’m on a high deductible plan (ora liwat pilihan - iku kabeh Pendhaftaran juragan nawakake).
I have regained feeling in a lot of areas. The results of the nerve conductivity tests showed most of the L4/L5 damage has healed. This was the level at which the disk blew out, so I happy with that finding. However the points below L4/L5 still show significant injury and the jury is still out as to what will happen with those areas. I do have more “elektrik kejut"Ngetik raos, mostly in my right foot. The backs of my thighs and lower buttocks are still numb as is most of my genital area. B&B isih Jeksa Agung bisa ngetokake sing njupuk akèh Manajemen (sing nguyuh & Saluran pancernaan, ora Amben & Sarapan).
Aku wis diwanti-wanti, minangka Wulan 11 Daftar, dening saklompok cilik Kitab Suci sinau we’re doing in our home. Between that and studying for my CMA ujian ing Februari, I haven’t had much time for other things or maintaining relationships. I’ll be so glad once this exam is taken. I’ve had to give up some things – things I love doing - on the schedule in order to concentrate on these. After the exam, I have a saperangan saka proyèk liya ing Pendhaftaran siap dhaftar, aku bakal terus nginep sibuk.
Panjenengan Pendhaftaran Cauda Equina Sindrom mengaruhi kabeh iki? Definitely! Does it help shape my life? Absolutely! Is it defining me? In some small way… it is a part of me, just as my arms or legs are. Yes, Aku duwe ala dina, loro fisik lan emosional - mugia ora loro winastan! Through it all I rely on God’s love to see me through. In His love He knew that my back would be injured and He used that event to prod me to grow closer to Him. He has sustained me, nurtured kula, and lifted me up. Aku wong luwih, ing panggonan sing luwih apik ing urip saka Gusti Allah njupuk lemons saka Cauda Equina Sindrom lan ngewangi kula nggawe lemonade metu saka wong-wong mau. Where sing bakal mimpin aku ora ngerti, nanging apa sing ngulandara aku ing!