CES | Month 11 et caudam equinam, Syndrome

Month 11 habet avolasse (Fusce ut est 12 tantum, et sic demum post).

.lies

Month 10 res aliqua mala fieri in finem vitae meae. Hi in diebus potissimum mense, 11 etiam. I was dealing with the feelings caused by my Familia member and also a friend. Sed de his duobus, contritis Amicitia hurt far more. The relationship with my family member had been on a long slow descent with an abrupt, sed multa, cliff at the end. The broken friendship is something that I didn’t see coming… a total surprise and shock. We’ve all been there before, sed quia homo ita factus est in corde meo fecisti Romanis tale claudere.

 

.unknowingNec rupta amicitia, but it remains that way to this day. For almost a month, I didn’t know how I would feel should my friend ask for forgiveness. Eventually, the hurt receded. This allowed me to align my feelings with my caring for this person. I am now at the point where I can forgive my friend should they ask for it. I can also continue the friendship; quod tamen non esset, quo tempore proxime ante ... Nil mihi credas velim, quo vita in meam amicis satis ut permitteret eos mendaces. Perhaps I never will be. The really sad part is that I don't think this person has the first clue that they've done anything to hurt me.

 

 

.trust

Natalis came and went during Month 11. We had a nice, quiet time - sed older mihi, the more I miss having a family that loves one another. We don’t have children and that puts us in a lonely place too. I come from a very dysfunctional family. Perhaps that is why I have such revulsion for liars. My family’s holiday gatherings (Lorem & Natalis) semper ipsum ostendit, ubi misit ad omnes qui habitabant in specie et de mendacio, quod eramus normalis, caring family. The rest of the year told a different, sad story. I survived, sed non sine vulnere, by getting out. 2014 notat meum 21st centum annos vivere, (nunc in mille) of miles from family. If you rule out the “visits” when they were just bringing my Mom to see me, et colligunt eam, Hinc possumus quotiens digitis me visitavit in familiam 21 annis. I, autem, saltem duodecim vicibus visitasti.

Sed ad CES ...

Sane me, dum vidit, et non sentiunt tali Frankenstein, it seems I had such a poor gait that I tore a tendon in my right ankle. Now that I have some feeling there, Nervus dolorem aliud novi Cauda equina syndrome was going on. The Doc said only surgery will fix it, but for now I’m only wearing an ankle brace. Had I noticed this earlier last year I would have had the surgery, sed quod suus 'a novus annus, with a new insurance deductible. And of course I’m on a high deductible plan (non electio - est omnibus dico: offert).

I have regained feeling in a lot of areas. The results of the nerve conductivity tests showed most of the L4/L5 damage has healed. This was the level at which the disk blew out, so I happy with that finding. However the points below L4/L5 still show significant injury and the jury is still out as to what will happen with those areas. I do have more “Quod electrica inpulsa"Lorem animum, mostly in my right foot. The backs of my thighs and lower buttocks are still numb as is most of my genital area. B&B est magnis condimentum exitus (ut vesica & INTESTINUM, nec Bed & Lorem ipsum).

Et consolati, ut Month 11 concluserat, a numero Biblicis we’re doing in our home. Between that and studying for my CMA ipsum in February, I haven’t had much time for other things or maintaining relationships. I’ll be so glad once this exam is taken. I’ve had to give up some things – things I love doing - on the schedule in order to concentrate on these. After the exam, Paratus sum super duobus aliis inceptis elit, et faciam: ut elit manere.

Numquid circa caudam equinam, Syndrome ex hoc omnes? Definitely! Does it help shape my life? Absolutely! Is it defining me? In some small way… it is a part of me, just as my arms or legs are. Yes, Et dies mali, corpora simul affectu - non tam spe simul! Through it all I rely on God’s love to see me through. In His love He knew that my back would be injured and He used that event to prod me to grow closer to Him. He has sustained me, me nutrivit,, and lifted me up. I am a better person, at a better place in life because of God taking the lemons of Cauda Equina Syndrome and helping me make lemonade out of them. Where that will lead I do not know, sed quid ego valebat!