Tag Archives: apklausa

CES | Mėnuo 8 su uodegoje equina sindromas

ces awarenss wristbandMano 8d month with Uodega arklių sindromas is in the books now and what a month! We moved back to our old house on Sep 6d and began the process of unpacking. Aš paėmė laiko ne Nuo rugsėjis 6 - 15 , kad galėčiau padėti stebėti judėti (o gal net padėti šiek tiek.) We’ve been taking it slowly, metering our energy and pain levels out. My wife and I enjoyed our time together immensely. We did our devotional times together and then discussed it in depth, often spending an hour or more a day on it. We found out that there is a lot of truth in the statement, “The closer a couple gets to God, the closer they get to each other.” We had a great time of reconnecting in a relaxed atmosphere. We sure needed this time!

Just prior to the end of Month 7, I reached a low point in battling CES. The long days of physical challenge, the emotional toll, and the strain on my wife as well came to a head. Aš nežinojau, tai tada, but God was preparing me for what was just days away. He broke me down completely as I spent several hours one night, sobbing and crying out to Him. I was looking for answers and understanding. Eventually, I was spent physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Then there was nothing. No prompting, no comfort, no answers. I fell asleep.

Blessed be your nameImmediately upon waking the following morning, I knew God had answered. His peace was on me like never before and I felt His comfort wrapping me. Not a in a physical sense, but just knowing, throughout my being, that He had heard and was showing His love for me. It changed my outlook on life, my Cauda Equina Syndrome, and much more. I even changed the title of this blog. You can read more about it here - http://wp.me/p3A64Y-7V

During the study my wife and I were doing together after moving, each of us (separately) came to a realization that we had slowly taken back our lives from God and that He was calling us back to fully committing to Him. We explored the depth of that commitment because it was clear that it was far more than we had ever considered it to be. As we each pondered it that day, the Word sank in. That evening, I told my wife that I had decided to go all in – yielding my life to God for His purposes. She had made the same decision. We rejoiced together.

In Month 8, I also came to the end of the road for legal action regarding my Cauda Equina Syndrome. I had 2 separate law firms look at the case for a possible malpractice claim. Both attorneys say that without doubt there was medical malpractice committed on me. Tačiau, under Ohio law, the “value” of a medical malpractice case is determined by how much better your outcome would have been if the malpractice made a difference. I have been very blessed by the Lord in my recovery thus far. Most who are afflicted with Cauda Equina Syndrome are left mostly or totally disabled for the rest of their lives – dealing with pain, numbness/lack of feeling, bladder and bowel problems and sexual dysfunction.

I’ve pushed hard since my surgery, spending a week in Acute Rehab at the hospital then 2 months of outpatient Fizinė terapija. I’ve done my stretches and exercises faithfully. I willed myself back to work and worked through pain for several months. My recovery, by objective standards, has been remarkable. My prognosis at the time of the surgery was in the worst possible outcome category due to the malpractice and delay in diagnosing and treating the CES. God fooled them all. I still have all of the above problems, but they are quite manageable with proper treatment and sensible limitations on my activities. I’m in the top 5% of outcome possibilities. So you can see that had the malpractice not occurred, my actual outcome wouldn’t be much, if any, better than it has been. Legally, that means the malpractice didn’t matter. I will be dealing with these symptoms and restrictions for the rest of my life but because I am doing better than I should, it isn’t worth anything. You know what? I’ll take my recovery over having done poorly enough to have a good malpractice case – ANY DAY!!!

The week after my wife and I committing and yielding fully to the Lord was one of great spiritual attack upon us. Everything that could go wrong did, 10 times over it did. And then some! I’ve never seen anything like it in my 55 years. We were so overwhelmed with PROBLEMS that arose with everything, from fighting with an unscrupulous business, to insurance issues with health, home, life and auto insurances, to mail going missing (it took one important letter 20 days to make it 40 miles), pharmacy orders disappearing in transit (and unable to reach anyone in the company to fix it), to car problems, and much, much more!

Pirma, we fell back to our old ways and began to feel overwhelmed and angry. But God wasn’t going to let us go back to what we were. He showed us that it was a spiritual attack and calmed us with His comfort. You know what, He was right. None of it surprised Him, He has our lives so He can do whatever He wants with them, and the result was amazing. We put out a prayer request and many people from all over the country prayed. We were protected and the attacks ceased.

In the rest of Month 8, I’m now commuting 100 miles a day, round trip. I can make the trip in to work in just 45 protokolas. Tačiau, the trip home takes about 65-75 protokolas. In the old days (last month), I would have worked myself up in a tizzy with Road Rage in that time! Dabar, God is in control of when I get to work and when I get home. I just enjoy talking with Him and being courteous to the other drivers who are desperately frazzled. I used to pride myself on my “excellent” driving skills allowing me to move through traffic quicker than others. Now I drive to help others, even though they won’t often know it. And I get a much bigger charge out of the new way!

Charles Spurgeon (C.H. Spurgeon)
Charles Spurgeon (C.H. Spurgeon) (Nuotraukų kredito: Vikipedija)

In summary, at the end of Month 8, life is good. It certainly isn’t what I would have designed or wanted from the individual aspects. But the whole of what God has made of my life and done in me with His relationship with me, is great! I love my wife more than I ever knew one could love. And the love for my Christian family has multiplied many times over. My life is now focused on how I can help others as I go through life knowing that God’s desire for me is to become, in words, mintys, and actions, an extension of Jesus. When others interact with me, they must see Jesus and His love for them. This is what drives me now. It is what should drive all who call themselves Christians. Charles Spurgeon once said, Every Christian is either a missionary or an imposter.” Which are you?

Mėnuo 8 = more normal feeling, more changing of tingly not painful into tingly painful (this means movement towards normal feeling), and better bowel & bladder activity. I was told the nerves would regenerate for a year with most of the regeneration occurring in the first 6 mėnesių. I’d had no significant changes since Month 2. Maybe I was too busy fighting Cauda Equina Syndrome rather than living with it. I’m not going to say that this is a reward from God for yielding to Him because I don’t believe He operates that way. He loves us all and wants us all to trust in Jesus, first for salvation and secondly for life. All that He allows or causes in our lives are to bring us to those two goals – first to rely on Jesus’ death in our place as the only way we can have a right relationship with Him and live with Him in Heaven one day. Once we have done that, God focuses all of His resources towards us to make us into images of Jesus – we are molded to have kind and loving words like Jesus, have gracious and generous thoughts like Jesus, and not WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?) but WDJD – What Did Jesus Do? How did He act with love for others and for the Father? Not what we think He would act like regarding something today, instead acting out of His love in ALL things.

What a month! What a life! Thanks for reading, my family, my friends, and my extended family in His Spirit.

Sustiprinti pagal Zemanta

CES | Mėnuo 7

Kitas mėnuo kaip CES Nukentėjusysis yra knygų. Turiu pasakyti,, jis buvo lemiamas mėnuo mano gyvenime, jei ne mano atkūrimo.

Judėjimas yra apie daroma. Mes vis dar turime šansų vagonai & baigiasi liktų senojoje vietoje, kartu su švarus ten (ir kai tapyba). At the new (old) place, we have a lot of boxes. We’re unpacking as needed, or motivated. A lot yet to be done there and we've had quite a few offers of help. We aim to take you up on those offers. We’re just going to be taking our time about it. With the move, I now have an hour commute each way to/from work. Ok, so my drive time just tripled. The biggest challenge is how I will feel on Friday evening on the way home. Will it be too much for me? We will see.

In Month 7, I've reconnected with some old friends and acquaintances on Facebook. It has had some disappointments and some very pleasant surprises, as one would expect. Trips down memory lane, good times and sad, and dreams attained, put on hold, or dashed. Lots of retrospection / introspection with regards as to the mark I've left in life so far. I've been evaluating it in terms of what I want to do in my final third of life. In the Bible, God dealt with Moses in 3 specific 40 year periods in Moses' 120 year life. Each period was very different than the other 2, yet when it was done, the 3 periods all tied together to bring about a world changing impact that could not have happened without all 3 periods. I'm 55 now, so I'm definitely into my 3rd period and it is time for me to make the biggest impact on the world around me. I may not change the world, but I want to change it for that part of the world which I can.

I look back at where I was after 6 months of life with Cauda Equina Syndrome. I haven’t noticed much improvement in my symptoms since Month 2, but there has been a continued buildup of leg strength. The sharp, electric shock pains in my right foot have migrated from big toe to my other toes and top of foot. This is actually better because the big toe not being as prone to pain allows me better balance to some degree. Better balance means walking is slightly less tiring. That means I can do a little bit more than a month ago. My stretches and exercises have continued to make me more limber and stronger. So I can do things with less pain and energy expenditure. The biggest change has been in how I viewed my having CES.

I use the term “recovery” loosely. I know that CES is something one has and is something that only a very, very few truly recover from. Most sufferers do not regain a normal life. A few see significant improvements in symptoms which allows them to resume an outwardly (almost) normal life. Then there are the very few who see complete recovery from symptoms. While medical literature tells us that those who have decompression surgery within 48 hours of symptoms appearing are almost exclusively the ones who see the better outcomes, the delay in diagnosis and decompression for the rest of us almost certainly dooms us to a life of dealing with the symptoms. My time from onset of symptoms to decompression surgery was just under 14 days… about 320 hours… not 48.

So I’m deeply in the group of “doomed to a life of pain and disability.” I’ve not seen myself that way since I found out about what I have. Part of that is from my dogged determination type personality – I don’t give up until there is nothing left to give up on. I have, and will continue, to work physically as hard as my determination can push my body to have an above average outcome. My faith has believed that this was a trial to try my faith. Not in terms of believing or not believing God will heal me, because He will do what He will. But a trial through which my life message of God’s goodness adds another chapter.

But He had so much more in mind!

Kim and I have spiritually journeyed along the same path but separately. This last week of Month 7, I was on vacation for the move and the week afterward. We joined in our spiritual journey for several days and then one day, due to schedules, we did not do our study together. It was a study of concrete examples of what being “All In” for God really means. And it means far more than I’ve thought in the past. While we’ve given our hearts and lives over to Him, we find, through brutally honest self-evaluation that haven’t done so completely. We’ve held onto some control – we want to follow our own desires and then have God clean up any mess we might make. We’ve kept some small pockets of control for us. As we heard the challenge, we both, separately, made the commitment to truly give ALL of EVERYTHING to God.

I’ve seen the change in my heart as I’ve grown closer to God these 7 mėnesių, but nothing has changed me like this past week. I am a new and vastly improved David. And my Bride is lovelier than ever. We’ve been given a challenge, a mission, and a path to follow. We’re excited. And life has changed for us. CES is a part of me now, something which God has shown I can only deal with through His strength for I have no strength in my own right.

No more fighting CES, but not giving in to it either, I instead have placed it in God’s hands. In doing so, I will do my part and know that He will do His. CES is now no longer something bad that happened to me. It is a tool to be used by God in His plan for my life. I look back and see how two strong (and strong-willed) people, joined together in marriage over 18 prieš metų, have been shaped and molded in that time to fall completely into God and learn what He means when the Apostle Paul wrote,

“And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. " [2Cr 12:9 NKJV]

In our weakness God will be shown to be strong. Until now, God has been a part of our lives. From now on, we will be a part of His instead.

What a month!!!!!

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Praradus kantrybę su Dievu…

Have you ever wondered how long a trial will last? Or suffered through multiple trials at once? If so, perhaps you feel as I do sometimes...

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Like this faithful dog, I sometimes feel as though I've sat in the downpour of troubles and trials for plenty long enough. And I wonder, "Why hasn't God acted?"

As I thought about it, and asked Him, He responded. "How patient was I with you?", God asked.

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"How many times did I reach out for you only to be pushed away and ignored? For how long did I offer you my love before you accepted it?", He wanted to know. "And once you did come to me," He continued, "how many times have you fallen down over simple things that should not cause you problems any longer? Which have you done more - made time for me or spent time on you?"

I realized that God is infinitely more patient with me than I am with Him. The graphic to the right says it all - especially when the "someone" it refers to is God.

How humbling this is, how freeing this is, if only I can put it into action through faith.

Knowing that God is a patient God. He waited 4,000 years to send Jesus to pay for mankind's sins.

He pursued me for 22 years before His patience paid off.

I've fallen more times than I can count.

Yet, still He loves me. He. Still. LOVES. ME!

Is the night any brighter? No, just as dark. Is the night any shorter? No, just as long. But again is that peace of knowing that He loves me and that makes me willing to sit in that downpour until He causes the sun to shine again. And He will... it's just a matter of time.

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