CES | Месец 11 со cauda equina синдром

Месец 11 има пренесен од страна на (како има месец 12 досега, на тој начин оваа доцна пост).

.lies

Месец 10 ended with some bad things happening in my personal life. These continued through most of Month 11 as well. I was dealing with the feelings caused by my семејство member and also a friend. Of the two, скршени пријателство hurt far more. The relationship with my family member had been on a long slow descent with an abrupt, но кратко, cliff at the end. The broken friendship is something that I didn’t see coming… a total surprise and shock. We’ve all been there before, но тоа е толку долго, бидејќи некој што смета дека блиску во моето срце има направено такво нешто.

 

.unknowingНе сакам пријателството растурени, but it remains that way to this day. For almost a month, I didn’t know how I would feel should my friend ask for forgiveness. На крајот, the hurt receded. This allowed me to align my feelings with my caring for this person. I am now at the point where I can forgive my friend should they ask for it. I can also continue the friendship; сепак тоа нема да биде како блиски, како пред ... Јас не сум во точка во мојот живот, каде јас сум подготвен да му верувате на лажговци доволно да им се дозволи во мојот круг на блиски пријатели. Perhaps I never will be. The really sad part is that I don't think this person has the first clue that they've done anything to hurt me.

 

 

.trust

Божиќ came and went during Month 11. We had a nice, quiet time - но оlder да се добие, the more I miss having a family that loves one another. We don’t have children and that puts us in a lonely place too. I come from a very dysfunctional family. Perhaps that is why I have such revulsion for liars. My family’s holiday gatherings (Денот на благодарноста & Божиќ) секогаш беа големи шоуа, каде што секој се стави на маска и живееле надвор лага дека сите бевме нормални, caring family. The rest of the year told a different, sad story. I survived, но не неповреден, by getting out. 2014 означува мојот 21ул година на живеење стотици (некаде илјадници) of miles from family. If you rule out the “visits” when they were just bringing my Mom to see me, или ја земам, Јас може да смета на прстите од едната рака колку пати моето семејство ме посети во тие 21 години. I, сепак, ги посетија најмалку десетина пати.

На мојот CES ...

Додека одев како Франкенштајн и не можат да се чувствуваат моите глуждови, it seems I had such a poor gait that I tore a tendon in my right ankle. Now that I have some feeling there, Знаев нешто друго од нервна болка на Cauda коњски синдром was going on. The Doc said only surgery will fix it, but for now I’m only wearing an ankle brace. Had I noticed this earlier last year I would have had the surgery, но тоа е нова година, with a new insurance deductible. And of course I’m on a high deductible plan (не по избор - тоа е за сите мојот работодавец понуди).

I have regained feeling in a lot of areas. The results of the nerve conductivity tests showed most of the L4/L5 damage has healed. This was the level at which the disk blew out, so I happy with that finding. However the points below L4/L5 still show significant injury and the jury is still out as to what will happen with those areas. I do have more “електричен шок"Тип чувства, mostly in my right foot. The backs of my thighs and lower buttocks are still numb as is most of my genital area. Б&Б е уште едно прашање што е потребно многу за управување (тоа е мочниот меур & Дебелото црево, не Кревет & Појадок).

Јас сум бил охрабрен, како месец 11 затворена, од страна на мала група Проучување на Библијата we’re doing in our home. Between that and studying for my ЦВА испит во февруари, I haven’t had much time for other things or maintaining relationships. I’ll be so glad once this exam is taken. I’ve had to give up some things – things I love doing - on the schedule in order to concentrate on these. After the exam, Имам неколку други проекти на мојот подготвен список, па јас ќе продолжи да остане зафатен.

Дали мојот cauda equina синдром влијае на сите на овој? Definitely! Does it help shape my life? Absolutely! Is it defining me? In some small way… it is a part of me, just as my arms or legs are. Yes, Имам лоши денови, и физички и емотивно - се надевам не и двете во исто време! Through it all I rely on God’s love to see me through. In His love He knew that my back would be injured and He used that event to prod me to grow closer to Him. He has sustained me, мене негуваат, and lifted me up. I am a better person, at a better place in life because of God taking the lemons of Cauda Equina Syndrome and helping me make lemonade out of them. Where that will lead I do not know, но она што авантура Јас сум на!

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