Bulan 11 mempunyai diterbangkan oleh (sebagai mempunyai Bulan 12 setakat ini, dengan itu jawatan ini lewat).
Bulan 10 ended with some bad things happening in my personal life. These continued through most of Month 11 as well. I was dealing with the feelings caused by my keluarga member and also a friend. Of the two, yang pecah persahabatan hurt far more. The relationship with my family member had been on a long slow descent with an abrupt, tetapi pendek, cliff at the end. The broken friendship is something that I didn’t see coming… a total surprise and shock. We’ve all been there before, tetapi ia telah begitu lama sejak seseorang yang saya memutuskan bahawa dekat di hati saya telah melakukan perkara seperti ini.
Saya tidak mahu persahabatan yang pecah, but it remains that way to this day. For almost a month, I didn’t know how I would feel should my friend ask for forgiveness. Eventually, the hurt receded. This allowed me to align my feelings with my caring for this person. I am now at the point where I can forgive my friend should they ask for it. I can also continue the friendship; Walau bagaimanapun ia tidak akan sehampir sebelum ... Saya tidak pada satu titik dalam hidup saya di mana saya sanggup mempercayai cukup pendusta membenarkan mereka masuk ke bulatan saya kawan rapat. Perhaps I never will be. The really sad part is that I don't think this person has the first clue that they've done anything to hurt me.
Krismas came and went during Month 11. We had a nice, quiet time - tetapi older saya mendapat, the more I miss having a family that loves one another. We don’t have children and that puts us in a lonely place too. I come from a very dysfunctional family. Perhaps that is why I have such revulsion for liars. My family’s holiday gatherings (Kesyukuran & Krismas) sentiasa menunjukkan besar di mana semua orang memakai topeng dan tinggal di luar yang dusta itu kita semua telah biasa, caring family. The rest of the year told a different, sad story. I survived, tetapi tidak tanpa cedera, by getting out. 2014 menandakan saya 21st tahun hidup beratus-ratus (kadang-kadang ribuan) of miles from family. If you rule out the “visits” when they were just bringing my Mom to see me, atau menjemputnya, Saya boleh mengira di jari satu tangan berapa kali keluarga saya telah melawat saya di mereka 21 years. I, bagaimanapun, telah melawat mereka sekurang-kurangnya sedozen kali.
Aktif untuk CES saya ...
Ketika aku berjalan seperti Frankenstein dan tidak dapat merasa pergelangan kaki saya, it seems I had such a poor gait that I tore a tendon in my right ankle. Now that I have some feeling there, Saya tahu sesuatu yang lain daripada sakit saraf Cauda sindrom kuda was going on. The Doc said only surgery will fix it, but for now I’m only wearing an ankle brace. Had I noticed this earlier last year I would have had the surgery, tetapi ia adalah tahun baru, with a new insurance deductible. And of course I’m on a high deductible plan (bukan dengan pilihan - ia adalah tawaran majikan saya).
I have regained feeling in a lot of areas. The results of the nerve conductivity tests showed most of the L4/L5 damage has healed. This was the level at which the disk blew out, so I happy with that finding. However the points below L4/L5 still show significant injury and the jury is still out as to what will happen with those areas. I do have more “kejutan elektrik"Menaip perasaan, mostly in my right foot. The backs of my thighs and lower buttocks are still numb as is most of my genital area. B&B masih satu isu yang memerlukan banyak pengurusan (itulah Pundi Kencing & Usus, tidak Bed & Sarapan).
Saya telah digalakkan, sebagai Bulan 11 ditutup, oleh kumpulan kecil Belajar Alkitab we’re doing in our home. Between that and studying for my CMA peperiksaan pada bulan Februari, I haven’t had much time for other things or maintaining relationships. I’ll be so glad once this exam is taken. I’ve had to give up some things – things I love doing - on the schedule in order to concentrate on these. After the exam, Saya mempunyai beberapa projek lain dalam senarai bersedia saya, jadi saya akan terus tetap sibuk.
Adakah Sindrom Cauda Equina saya mempengaruhi semua ini? Definitely! Does it help shape my life? Absolutely! Is it defining me? In some small way… it is a part of me, just as my arms or legs are. Ya, Saya mempunyai hari buruk, kedua-dua fizikal dan emosi - mudah-mudahan tidak kedua-duanya pada masa yang sama! Through it all I rely on God’s love to see me through. In His love He knew that my back would be injured and He used that event to prod me to grow closer to Him. He has sustained me, dipupuk saya, and lifted me up. I am a better person, at a better place in life because of God taking the lemons of Cauda Equina Syndrome and helping me make lemonade out of them. Where that will lead I do not know, tetapi apa yang pengembaraan saya di!