Eu have changed the title of my blog. Porquê? Não fora de tédio ou apenas gostar de mudança, muita coisa aconteceu desde o meu último post. I'll soon post about it, but for now we can say that the Lord has changed my view of what has happened to me... e Seus propósitos imediatos por trás dele.
My faith has seen me through this "Battle" com Síndrome de eqüinos Cauda (CES) thus far, but I had no idea where my faith journey was heading. Sim, I wondered why this had happened, what God wanted me to learn and how I should view it. We all know that bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. We always want to know why and often the answer we get is that we may never know why in this lifetime so we just have to live with it. I've heard a lot over the years about people with terrible injuries and diseases "combate" ou "battling" those things which seek to either ruin or take their life. Friends and relatives have been touched by, and some lost to, injuries or disease. Now it is my turn.
What I came to realize is that I had stopped growing spiritually and I was barely being effective in God's Kingdom. God wanted so much more from me but I had succumbed to "The Rat Race" and devoted myself to my work. Don't get me wrong, work is important, but so much more had suffered. My relationship with my wife, my time and service to God and the joy was gone from my life. Through this time of a changed life, where the daily routine of getting up and going to work is a draining physical challenge for me, I've seen myself as battling CES as though my faith, grit and determination were being tested. While they were being tested, that wasn't all. My focus had been on recovering far more than the doctors and physical therapists ever thought I could, further than the medical research said I could. I was going to win my "Battle". I didn't, and don't, hold out the idea of a complete recovery but my goal has been to be able to walk without assistance again - a lofty goal for someone with CES.
It was my attitude that needed changing. I saw this as a challenge where my faith would see me through and coming out the other side of this I would give the credit to God. I would be a faithful soldier in His service. Nothing wrong with that, but... God wanted me. All of me. He has wanted all of me for a long time. I thought I had given myself to Him fully many years ago. He has used me in so many ways everywhere I've lived. But as I said, I had slowly slipped back in to taking His blessings and running with it for my own purposes without even considering His. My wife tried to help me see it, but I was too focused on my goal - which had been so out of reach and now, because of God's blessing, was within my grasp. My attitude had slowly changed and was no longer good. God's smackdown on me physically also affected me emotionally, mentally and spiritually as well. Eventualmente, everything was stripped away but the spiritual. I found that I had taken myself back from God and He was calling me to give myself completely to Him. Only this time, I understand there is much more depth in this commitment than I ever thought possible before.
In the Ohio derecho storms of June 29, 2012, we lost an old Ash tree that was 85 feet in length. Dois homens nos deu uma realmente boa cotação em cortar a árvore, removendo o coto, e transportar tudo fora. Eles acharam que poderiam fazê-lo em 2 dias, 6 horas por dia . O coto era incrivelmente teimoso. Uma vez que eles começaram nele, eles descobriram que tinha raízes grossas correndo em todas as direções para muitos, muitos pés. Foi muito grosso para suas serras. Eles picado para ele com machados e trabalhou 3 dias de manhã até a noite. Eles ainda tinha uma outra ajuda pessoa vir. E ainda o coto permaneceu. Finalmente eles alugaram um moedor de coto e fez o melhor. Isso coto vencê-los mal para dias. No final, eles conseguiram o que precisávamos deixando um pequeno monte onde a árvore tinha sido, contudo, ainda existem raízes sob esse monte. E eles tinha gasto mais 40 horas sobre o projeto. Sua cotação lhes valeu menos de $6 por hora.
That's how it is when I first gave myself "fully" to God. I saw what looked like full commitment and made that commitment. Over time, there was more and more revealed but I had my goals and dreams too and there was no time, no room, for truly giving myself to God as fully as He wanted. In time, I took back what I had given Him. Suddenly, this year, God changed all of that. Stricken with an injury that would change the rest of my life, taking away many of the things I wanted to do and accomplish, I now had time for Him. I've learned that He wants all of me, and I've made that commitment to Him. Agora, whatever recovery I have is fine with me. Of course being who I am, I will still be pushing for the best results possible. As with many whom God used in the past, Ele tem colocar Sua marca de propriedade em mim - meus CES. É um lembrete de quem eu sou, cuja força eu dependo, e quem tem o controle completo de minha vida. Nós não estamos a dar um pouco de Deus, ou mesmo uma grande, parte em nossas vidas. Ele quer que toda a nossa vida para ser uma parte de Sua. Ele quer viver a Sua vida através de nós. Isso é o que a Bíblia quer dizer quando Paulo escreveu no capítulo 8 de Romanos que nós que acreditam estão sendo moldada e moldada por Deus para ser como Jesus. Não apenas nosso caráter, mas o caráter impulsiona motivação, e fora de motivação vem acções. Deus usa os eventos em nossas vidas para nos transformar (Romans 12), e Ele nos transforma em pessoas que pensam, Aja, falar, e amar como Jesus. Porquê? Então Ele pode alcançar as pessoas que não sabem, ou aqueles que não se preocupam com o seu amor.
No wonder so many in America today don't want anything to do with Christianity or church - look at how we Christians live! That isn't God's plan. Time for me to get with the plan. And I no longer fight CES, but it is a mark of ownership on me and of my commitment to God. So it is now "Minha vida com síndrome da cauda eqüina" and thus the new name for my blog.