CES | Mesec 11 z cauda equina

Mesec 11 Ima pluje (saj ima Mesec 12 doslej, Tako pozno objave).

.lies

Mesec 10 ki se je končalo z nekaj slabih stvari se dogaja v mojem osebnem življenju. To je nadaljevalo skozi večino mesec 11 kot tudi. I was dealing with the feelings caused by my Družina member and also a friend. Od dveh, zdrobljen prijateljstvo hurt far more. The relationship with my family member had been on a long slow descent with an abrupt, ampak kratko, cliff at the end. The broken friendship is something that I didn’t see coming… a total surprise and shock. We’ve all been there before, vendar je bilo tako dolgo, ker nekdo, ki ga je menilo, da je blizu v mojem srcu naredil kaj takega.

 

.unknowingNočem prijateljstvo razdeljena, but it remains that way to this day. For almost a month, I didn’t know how I would feel should my friend ask for forgiveness. Eventually, the hurt receded. This allowed me to align my feelings with my caring for this person. I am now at the point where I can forgive my friend should they ask for it. I can also continue the friendship; Vendar pa to ne bi bilo tako blizu, kot prej ... Nisem na točki v svojem življenju, če sem pripravljen zaupati dovolj lažnivci, da jim omogoči v mojem krogu tesnih prijateljev. Perhaps I never will be. The really sad part is that I don't think this person has the first clue that they've done anything to hurt me.

 

 

.trust

Božič came and went during Month 11. We had a nice, quiet time - vendar Older dobim, the more I miss having a family that loves one another. We don’t have children and that puts us in a lonely place too. I come from a very dysfunctional family. Perhaps that is why I have such revulsion for liars. My family’s holiday gatherings (Zahvalni dan & Božič) bile vedno velike predstave, kjer vsi dani na masko in živela v laži, da smo vsi normalni, caring family. The rest of the year told a different, sad story. I survived, vendar ne brez posledic, by getting out. 2014 Ocene my 21st leto živi na stotine (bivši tisoče) of miles from family. If you rule out the “visits” when they were just bringing my Mom to see me, ali ponjo, Lahko računate na prste ene roke, kolikokrat je moja družina me je obiskal v tistih, 21 years. I, Vendar, so jih obiskali vsaj ducat krat.

Na mojim CES ...

Medtem ko sem hodil kot Frankenstein in ne morejo čutim gležnjev, it seems I had such a poor gait that I tore a tendon in my right ankle. Now that I have some feeling there, Vedel sem, kaj drugega od bolečine živca, ki Repa kopitarjev sindrom was going on. The Doc said only surgery will fix it, but for now I’m only wearing an ankle brace. Had I noticed this earlier last year I would have had the surgery, ampak to je novo leto, with a new insurance deductible. And of course I’m on a high deductible plan (ne po svoji volji - to je vse moje ponudbe delodajalcev).

I have regained feeling in a lot of areas. The results of the nerve conductivity tests showed most of the L4/L5 damage has healed. This was the level at which the disk blew out, so I happy with that finding. However the points below L4/L5 still show significant injury and the jury is still out as to what will happen with those areas. I do have more “električnega udara"Tip čustva, mostly in my right foot. The backs of my thighs and lower buttocks are still numb as is most of my genital area. B&B je še vedno vprašanje, ki zahteva veliko upravljanja (to je mehurja & Črevesja, ne Nočitev & Zajtrk).

Sem bil spodbuditi, kot mesec 11 zaprta, z majhno skupino Biblija študija we’re doing in our home. Between that and studying for my CMA izpit v februarju, I haven’t had much time for other things or maintaining relationships. I’ll be so glad once this exam is taken. I’ve had to give up some things – things I love doing - on the schedule in order to concentrate on these. After the exam, Imam nekaj drugih projektov na mojem seznamu, pripravljenem, tako da bo še naprej ostal zaposlen.

Ali moj sindrom Cauda equina vpliva na vse to? Definitely! Does it help shape my life? Absolutely! Is it defining me? In some small way… it is a part of me, just as my arms or legs are. Yes, Imam slabe dni, tako fizično kot čustveno - upamo ne oba istočasno! Through it all I rely on God’s love to see me through. In His love He knew that my back would be injured and He used that event to prod me to grow closer to Him. He has sustained me, me negovati, and lifted me up. I am a better person, at a better place in life because of God taking the lemons of Cauda Equina Syndrome and helping me make lemonade out of them. Where that will lead I do not know, ampak kaj avantura sem na!

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