CES | Měsíc 11 s cauda equina syndrom

Měsíc 11 má pilotovaný (jako je Měsíc 12 dosud, tak takhle pozdě příspěvek).

.lies

Měsíc 10 ended with some bad things happening in my personal life. These continued through most of Month 11 as well. I was dealing with the feelings caused by my rodina member and also a friend. Of the two, rozbité přátelství hurt far more. The relationship with my family member had been on a long slow descent with an abrupt, ale krátký, cliff at the end. The broken friendship is something that I didn’t see coming… a total surprise and shock. We’ve all been there before, ale to bylo tak dávno, co jsem si myslel, že někdo blízký v mém srdci udělal takovou věc.

 

.unknowingNechci přátelství rozbité, but it remains that way to this day. For almost a month, I didn’t know how I would feel should my friend ask for forgiveness. Eventually, the hurt receded. This allowed me to align my feelings with my caring for this person. I am now at the point where I can forgive my friend should they ask for it. I can also continue the friendship; ale to by nemělo být tak blízko, jak před ... nejsem na místě v mém životě, kdy jsem ochoten věřit natolik lháři umožnit jim do mého kruhu blízkých přátel. Perhaps I never will be. The really sad part is that I don't think this person has the first clue that they've done anything to hurt me.

 

 

.trust

Vánoce came and went during Month 11. We had a nice, quiet time - ale older dostanu, the more I miss having a family that loves one another. We don’t have children and that puts us in a lonely place too. I come from a very dysfunctional family. Perhaps that is why I have such revulsion for liars. My family’s holiday gatherings (Díkůvzdání & Vánoce) byly vždy velké show, kde všichni dát na masku a žil mimo lež, že jsme byli všichni normální, caring family. The rest of the year told a different, sad story. I survived, ale ne bez úhony, by getting out. 2014 označuje my 21st rok žijí stovky (Někdy tisíce) of miles from family. If you rule out the “visits” when they were just bringing my Mom to see me, nebo si ji, Mohu počítat na prstech jedné ruky, kolikrát moje rodina navštívil mě v těch 21 léta. Já, však, Navštívili jim alespoň tucetkrát.

Na mých CES ...

Zatímco jsem šel jako Frankenstein a nemůže cítit moje kotníky, it seems I had such a poor gait that I tore a tendon in my right ankle. Now that I have some feeling there, Jsem věděl, že něco jiného než nervové bolesti Cauda koní syndrom was going on. The Doc said only surgery will fix it, but for now I’m only wearing an ankle brace. Had I noticed this earlier last year I would have had the surgery, ale je to nový rok, with a new insurance deductible. And of course I’m on a high deductible plan (ne z vlastní vůle - to vše je můj zaměstnavatel nabídky).

I have regained feeling in a lot of areas. The results of the nerve conductivity tests showed most of the L4/L5 damage has healed. This was the level at which the disk blew out, so I happy with that finding. However the points below L4/L5 still show significant injury and the jury is still out as to what will happen with those areas. I do have more “úrazu elektrickým proudem"Typ pocity, mostly in my right foot. The backs of my thighs and lower buttocks are still numb as is most of my genital area. B&B je stále problém, který má spoustu řízení (to močového měchýře & Střevo, ne Postel & Snídaně).

I byly vyzvány,, jako Měsíc 11 zavřeno, u malé skupiny Studium Bible we’re doing in our home. Between that and studying for my CMA zkouška v únoru, I haven’t had much time for other things or maintaining relationships. I’ll be so glad once this exam is taken. I’ve had to give up some things – things I love doing - on the schedule in order to concentrate on these. After the exam, Mám pár dalších projektů na mé pracovny seznamu, tak budu i nadále zůstat obsazeno.

Má můj syndrom Cauda equina ovlivnit vše? Definitely! Does it help shape my life? Absolutely! Is it defining me? In some small way… it is a part of me, just as my arms or legs are. Ano, Mám špatné dny, a to jak fyzicky, tak psychicky - doufejme, že ne oba současně! Through it all I rely on God’s love to see me through. In His love He knew that my back would be injured and He used that event to prod me to grow closer to Him. He has sustained me, živil mě, and lifted me up. I am a better person, at a better place in life because of God taking the lemons of Cauda Equina Syndrome and helping me make lemonade out of them. Where that will lead I do not know, ale to, co dobrodružství jsem na!

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