Hileko 11 ditu flown (ditu Hilabetea gisa 12 orain arte, horrela post berandu honetan).
Hileko 10 ended with some bad things happening in my personal life. These continued through most of Month 11 as well. I was dealing with the feelings caused by my familia member and also a friend. Of the two, hautsi adiskidetasuna hurt far more. The relationship with my family member had been on a long slow descent with an abrupt, baina labur, cliff at the end. The broken friendship is something that I didn’t see coming… a total surprise and shock. We’ve all been there before, baina izan da hainbeste denbora nire bihotzean hurbil dela horrelako gauza bat egin du norbaitek ospatuko dut geroztik.
Ez dut nahi adiskidetasuna hautsi, but it remains that way to this day. For almost a month, I didn’t know how I would feel should my friend ask for forgiveness. Eventually, the hurt receded. This allowed me to align my feelings with my caring for this person. I am now at the point where I can forgive my friend should they ask for it. I can also continue the friendship; hala ere, ez litzateke lehen bezala hurbil izan ... Ez nago nire bizitza puntu bat non gezurti nahikoa fidatzen ahal izateko lagunak hurbil dagoen nire zirkulu sartu prest nago at. Perhaps I never will be. The really sad part is that I don't think this person has the first clue that they've done anything to hurt me.
Gabonetako came and went during Month 11. We had a nice, quiet time - baina older dut lortu, the more I miss having a family that loves one another. We don’t have children and that puts us in a lonely place too. I come from a very dysfunctional family. Perhaps that is why I have such revulsion for liars. My family’s holiday gatherings (Eskerrak & Gabonetako) ziren beti ikuskizun handi non denek maskara bat jarri eta bizi izan zen gezur bat duten guztiak izan dugu normal, caring family. The rest of the year told a different, sad story. I survived, baina ez da onik aterako, by getting out. 2014 markatzen du nire 21st ehunka bizi urtea (noizbait milaka) of miles from family. If you rule out the “visits” when they were just bringing my Mom to see me, edo bere pick up, Ezin dut Batetik behatzak zenbatu nire familia zenbat aldiz bisitatu ditu me horietan 21 urte. I, ordea, dugu bisitatu itzazu, gutxienez dozena bat aldiz.
Nire CES on ...
Frankenstein atsegin dut zebilen bitartean eta ezin nire orkatiletan sentitzeko, it seems I had such a poor gait that I tore a tendon in my right ankle. Now that I have some feeling there, Zerbait nerbio mina baino banekien Cauda zaldi sindromea was going on. The Doc said only surgery will fix it, but for now I’m only wearing an ankle brace. Had I noticed this earlier last year I would have had the surgery, baina urte berri bat da, with a new insurance deductible. And of course I’m on a high deductible plan (ez aukeratu by - Nire enpresariak eskaintza guztiak da).
I have regained feeling in a lot of areas. The results of the nerve conductivity tests showed most of the L4/L5 damage has healed. This was the level at which the disk blew out, so I happy with that finding. However the points below L4/L5 still show significant injury and the jury is still out as to what will happen with those areas. I do have more “deskarga elektriko"Sentimenduak idatzi, mostly in my right foot. The backs of my thighs and lower buttocks are still numb as is most of my genital area. B&B da oraindik duten kudeaketa asko hartzen arazo bat (hori da Maskuri & Kolon, Ez Ohe & Gosaria).
I izan dira animatu, Hilabetea gisa 11 itxi, talde txikietan egindako Biblia estudio we’re doing in our home. Between that and studying for my CMA otsailean egiteko egunak, I haven’t had much time for other things or maintaining relationships. I’ll be so glad once this exam is taken. I’ve had to give up some things – things I love doing - on the schedule in order to concentrate on these. After the exam, Beste proiektu pare bat daukat nire zerrenda prest nago, beraz lanpetuta lo jarraitu egingo dut.
Nire cauda equina sindromea du eraginik hau guztia? Definitely! Does it help shape my life? Absolutely! Is it defining me? In some small way… it is a part of me, just as my arms or legs are. Yes, Egun txarra daukat, bai fisikoki eta emozionalki - zorionez ez biak aldi berean! Through it all I rely on God’s love to see me through. In His love He knew that my back would be injured and He used that event to prod me to grow closer to Him. He has sustained me, elikatu ninduen, and lifted me up. I am a better person, at a better place in life because of God taking the lemons of Cauda Equina Syndrome and helping me make lemonade out of them. Where that will lead I do not know, baina zer abentura on naiz!