Just recently I came across a passage in my study of the Bible which really spoke to me. It showed me something that has happened with me, but I had not realized it. בתוך 1 Peter 4: 1-2, it is written, "1 Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because whoever suffers in the body is done with sin. 2 As a result, they do not live the rest of their earthly lives for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God." [1Pe 4:1-2 NIV]
During the 20 months I have lived with Cauda Equina Syndrome, God has slowly changed my focus from me to Him. As these verses say, I am done with sin. Now that doesn't mean I won't, only that my focus is now in a different direction - an upward direction to God. As such, things that once held pleasure for me - and kept me from being close to God - are in my rear view mirror. I want to live the rest of my life 100% for the will of God.