CES | Mėnuo 11 su uodegoje equina sindromas

Mėnuo 11 turi nuskraidinti (kaip turi Mėnesio 12 iki šiol, Taigi tai vėlai pranešimas).

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Mėnuo 10 baigėsi kai kurių blogų dalykų vyksta mano asmeninio gyvenimo. Tai tęsėsi beveik visą mėnesį 11 taip pat. I was dealing with the feelings caused by my šeima member and also a friend. Iš dviejų, neveikia draugystė hurt far more. The relationship with my family member had been on a long slow descent with an abrupt, bet trumpas, cliff at the end. The broken friendship is something that I didn’t see coming… a total surprise and shock. We’ve all been there before, bet tai buvo taip seniai kažkas aš nusprendė, kad arti mano širdies padarė tokį dalyką.

 

.unknowingNenoriu draugystė suskaidytas, but it remains that way to this day. For almost a month, I didn’t know how I would feel should my friend ask for forgiveness. Eventually, the hurt receded. This allowed me to align my feelings with my caring for this person. I am now at the point where I can forgive my friend should they ask for it. I can also continue the friendship; Tačiau tai nebus taip arti, kaip prieš ... aš ne už mano gyvenime, kai aš noriu pasitikėti melagiai pakankamai, kad būtų galima juos į mano ratas artimų draugų. Perhaps I never will be. The really sad part is that I don't think this person has the first clue that they've done anything to hurt me.

 

 

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Kalėdos came and went during Month 11. We had a nice, quiet time - bet older man, the more I miss having a family that loves one another. We don’t have children and that puts us in a lonely place too. I come from a very dysfunctional family. Perhaps that is why I have such revulsion for liars. My family’s holiday gatherings (Padėkos & Kalėdos) visada buvo didelis šou, kuriame visi įdėti į kaukę ir gyveno iš melas, kad mes visi buvo normalus, caring family. The rest of the year told a different, sad story. I survived, bet nenukentėjo, by getting out. 2014 žymi mano 21g metus gyvena šimtus (kažkada tūkstančių) of miles from family. If you rule out the “visits” when they were just bringing my Mom to see me, arba pasiimti ją aukštyn, Galiu suskaičiuoti ant vienos rankos pirštų, kiek kartų mano šeima aplankė mane tie 21 years. I, tačiau, aplankė juos bent keliolika kartų.

Dėl mano CES ...

Nors ėjau kaip Frankenšteinas ir negali jausti mano kulkšnys, it seems I had such a poor gait that I tore a tendon in my right ankle. Now that I have some feeling there, Aš žinojau, ką nors kitą, nei nervo skausmas Uodega arklių sindromas was going on. The Doc said only surgery will fix it, but for now I’m only wearing an ankle brace. Had I noticed this earlier last year I would have had the surgery, bet tai nauji metai, with a new insurance deductible. And of course I’m on a high deductible plan (ne savo noru - tai visi mano darbdavys siūlo).

I have regained feeling in a lot of areas. The results of the nerve conductivity tests showed most of the L4/L5 damage has healed. This was the level at which the disk blew out, so I happy with that finding. However the points below L4/L5 still show significant injury and the jury is still out as to what will happen with those areas. I do have more “elektros šokas"Įrašykite jausmus, mostly in my right foot. The backs of my thighs and lower buttocks are still numb as is most of my genital area. B&B yra vis dar problema, kad mano valdymo aikštelė (tai šlapimo pūslės & Žarnos, ne Lova & Pusryčiai).

Man buvo skatinami, kaip mėnesį 11 uždarytas, iš nedidelės grupės Biblijos studijos we’re doing in our home. Between that and studying for my CMA egzaminas vasario, I haven’t had much time for other things or maintaining relationships. I’ll be so glad once this exam is taken. I’ve had to give up some things – things I love doing - on the schedule in order to concentrate on these. After the exam, Turiu kitų projektų pora mano paruošto sąrašo, todėl aš ir toliau likti užimtas.

Ar mano Uodega equina sindromas įtakos visa tai? Definitely! Does it help shape my life? Absolutely! Is it defining me? In some small way… it is a part of me, just as my arms or legs are. Taip, Turiu blogų dienų, tiek fiziškai, tiek emociškai - tikiuosi ne tiek tuo pačiu metu! Through it all I rely on God’s love to see me through. In His love He knew that my back would be injured and He used that event to prod me to grow closer to Him. He has sustained me, puoselėjo mane, and lifted me up. I am a better person, at a better place in life because of God taking the lemons of Cauda Equina Syndrome and helping me make lemonade out of them. Where that will lead I do not know, tačiau tai, ką nuotykių aš esu!