Xahar 11 għandha tittajjar minn (kif għandha Xahar 12 s'issa, b'hekk din il-kariga tard).
Xahar 10 ended with some bad things happening in my personal life. These continued through most of Month 11 as well. I was dealing with the feelings caused by my familja member and also a friend. Of the two, il miksur ħbiberija hurt far more. The relationship with my family member had been on a long slow descent with an abrupt, iżda qasir, cliff at the end. The broken friendship is something that I didn’t see coming… a total surprise and shock. We’ve all been there before, iżda dan kien daqshekk twil peress xi ħadd I ddeċidiet li mill-qrib fil-qalb tiegħi għamel tali ħaġa.
Ma rridx l-ħbiberija miksur, but it remains that way to this day. For almost a month, I didn’t know how I would feel should my friend ask for forgiveness. Eventually, the hurt receded. This allowed me to align my feelings with my caring for this person. I am now at the point where I can forgive my friend should they ask for it. I can also continue the friendship; madankollu ma jkunx qrib kemm qabel ... M'inix f'punt fil-ħajja tiegħi fejn I am lesti li jafdaw liars biżżejjed biex jippermettulhom fil-ċirku tiegħi ta 'ħbieb qrib. Perhaps I never will be. The really sad part is that I don't think this person has the first clue that they've done anything to hurt me.
Milied came and went during Month 11. We had a nice, quiet time - iżda l-older niġi, the more I miss having a family that loves one another. We don’t have children and that puts us in a lonely place too. I come from a very dysfunctional family. Perhaps that is why I have such revulsion for liars. My family’s holiday gatherings (Thanksgiving & Milied) kienu dejjem turi kbar fejn kulħadd jitqiegħdu fuq maskra u għexu barra gidba li konna kollha normali, caring family. The rest of the year told a different, sad story. I survived, iżda mhux mingħajr ħsara, by getting out. 2014 jimmarka tiegħi 21st sena ta 'mijiet għajxien (f'xi żmien eluf) of miles from family. If you rule out the “visits” when they were just bringing my Mom to see me, jew pick up tagħha, I jista 'joqgħod fuq il-sieq tal-banda kif ħafna drabi familja tiegħi żaret me f'dawk 21 years. I, madankollu, żaru minnhom mill-inqas tużżana darbiet.
Fuq CES tiegħi ...
Filwaqt I kien mixi bħal Frankenstein u kapaċi li jħossu għekiesi tiegħi, it seems I had such a poor gait that I tore a tendon in my right ankle. Now that I have some feeling there, Kont naf xi ħaġa minbarra l-uġigħ fin-nervituri ta ' Sindromu ekwina cauda was going on. The Doc said only surgery will fix it, but for now I’m only wearing an ankle brace. Had I noticed this earlier last year I would have had the surgery, imma hija sena ġdida, with a new insurance deductible. And of course I’m on a high deductible plan (mhux mill-għażla - huwa kollha offerti ta 'min iħaddem tiegħi).
I have regained feeling in a lot of areas. The results of the nerve conductivity tests showed most of the L4/L5 damage has healed. This was the level at which the disk blew out, so I happy with that finding. However the points below L4/L5 still show significant injury and the jury is still out as to what will happen with those areas. I do have more “xokk elettriku"Sentimenti tip, mostly in my right foot. The backs of my thighs and lower buttocks are still numb as is most of my genital area. B&B għadha kwistjoni li tieħu ħafna ta 'ġestjoni (thats Bużżieqa & Musrana, mhux Bed & Breakfast).
I ġew imħeġġa, kif Xahar 11 magħluqa, mill-grupp żgħir Studju tal-Bibbja we’re doing in our home. Between that and studying for my CMA eżami fi Frar, I haven’t had much time for other things or maintaining relationships. I’ll be so glad once this exam is taken. I’ve had to give up some things – things I love doing - on the schedule in order to concentrate on these. After the exam, I jkollhom koppja ta 'proġetti oħra fuq il-lista lesta tiegħi, so I se tkompli tissospendi busy.
Ma Syndrome cauda equina tiegħi jaffettwa kollha ta 'dan? Definitely! Does it help shape my life? Absolutely! Is it defining me? In some small way… it is a part of me, just as my arms or legs are. Yes, Għandi ħżiena jum, kemm fiżikament u emozzjonalment - nisperaw mhux it-tnejn fl-istess ħin! Through it all I rely on God’s love to see me through. In His love He knew that my back would be injured and He used that event to prod me to grow closer to Him. He has sustained me, mrawwem me, and lifted me up. I am a better person, at a better place in life because of God taking the lemons of Cauda Equina Syndrome and helping me make lemonade out of them. Where that will lead I do not know, imma dak avventura I am fuq!